What's In A Name?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:
1912: "TITANIC SINKS; 1500 DIE - Administration official suspects terrorists directed iceberg into path of luxury liner."
2007: "VICTORY IN WAR ON TERROR - Administration says terrorists can no longer rely on icebergs to kill wealthy citizens of the coalition."

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,
Light shines through the leaves.
A bagworm tries catching it in its web.
The light doesn't care.
It shines.

I have eyes to see.
Amen

C. Unquoting Jesus:

"How wise could Solomon be? Most men have trouble keeping one wife happy. 900 sounds extremely foolish. I think 72 is probably the limit, but what do I know?"

[Yeah, right...]

D. Blog: Hyphenated Names

Memo
To: All Staff, particularly clerical
From: Customers with hyphenated names
Date: July 9, 2007
Priority: URGENT (to avoid irritating customers)
Re: Guidelines for handling hyphenated names

1. A hyphen ( - ) is not an apostrophe ( ‘ ). Do not confuse them. The hyphen indicates a connection (in names, family connection). The apostrophe indicates something missing (as in “isn’t” instead of “is not”) or a possessive (“Mary’s virginity” instead of “Mary has virginity”). When the customer says “hyphen,” use a hyphen, never an apostrophe.

2. The hyphenated name is the whole, connected last (usually) name (as in Catherine Zeta-Jones). Common courtesy requires you to use the person’s complete last name. If you would call the actress “Ms. Jones,” she would not know you were addressing her, or would consider you an uninformed boor.

3. If the person signs documents with the hyphenated name, that is the legal name. If the name on the check has a hyphen, that is the legal name. If the name on the business card has a hyphen, that is the legal name. If the name on the Social Security Card has a hyphen, that is the legal name. Do not presume that the presence of that little hyphen means you can ignore it or separate the conjoined names (let no one tear asunder such a name). You do not have the right or authority to change or “correct” a customer’s legal name to what you think it should be.

4. If we send a bill to the Asheville Citizen, they have every right not to pay that bill. The legal name is Asheville Citizen-Times, with the hyphen connecting both earlier names in the local newspaper publishing history. If your daughter sends a letter of application to Webb University, she probably will not gain admission. It is puzzling that people who normally know not to separate Citizen from Times, Gardner from Webb, Winston from Salem, Randolph from Macon or Times from Dispatch, think they may make such a separation in the case of a person’s last name. See what happens to your fund appeal letter to Ms. Zeta-Jones to support your cause of protecting endangered species if it begins “Dear Ms. Jones.”

5. As for filing/alphabetizing, the rule is simple. Zeta-Jones gets filed under “Z”, the first letter of the full last name.

6. When addressing someone, use the full last name, as in Mr. Day-Lewis, Mr. & Mrs. Day-Lewis, Mr. Daniel Day-Lewis and Mrs. Rebecca Day-Lewis, but not Mr. & Mrs. Daniel Day-Lewis. The Day-Lewis example only illustrates how addressing works when the couple shares the same hyphenated name. In reality, Daniel’s wife’s name is Rebecca Miller, so in addressing them as a specific couple, use Mr. Day-Lewis and Mrs. Miller, or Mr. Daniel Day-Lewis and Mrs. Rebecca Miller.

7. If in doubt, ask.

8. Do not separate a hyphenated name, ever.