What Is Sacrilegious?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Get Thee behind me, war!

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

In the grand scheme of things, we might not matter very much.
You, on the other hand, do matter very much in the grand scheme of things. For if there is such a scheme, you plotted it.
Now, on a third hand, we do matter, for despite our triviality, you care about and for us.

It’s a grand mystery.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Humor is sacrilegious.”

[Trust me on this: He never said it. Lighten up, people.]

D. Blog: Sectarian Violence

Honestly, doesn’t what we call sectarian violence look just like gang warfare? With religion used as an excuse to act outrageously? It certainly has no spiritual influence or content.

What Does Hypocrisy Achieve?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Giving peace a chance takes real courage.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We say your ways are mysterious, but I wonder…
Some of your ways seem absolutely predictable, so regular that we stake our lives on them: Earth will rotate and alternate between day and night, for instance. There are countless other examples of your un-mysterious ways.
The mysterious seem that way only against the background of your faithfulness.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“God helps those who help themselves.”

[Nope, He never said it. Benjamin Franklin, perhaps?]

D. Blog: Hypocrisy and Religion

Put succinctly: We can live without religious hypocrisy, but we cannot live without religion that expresses our spirituality.

Where's the Religion in Violence?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Get Thee behind me, war!

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

In the grand scheme of things, we might not matter very much.
You, on the other hand, do matter very much in the grand scheme of things. For if there is such a scheme, you plotted it.
Now, on a third hand, we do matter, for despite our triviality, you care about and for us.

It’s a grand mystery.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Humor is sacrilegious.”

[Trust me on this: He never said it. Lighten up, people.]

D. Blog: Sectarian Violence

Honestly, doesn’t what we call sectarian violence look just like gang warfare? With religion used as an excuse to act outrageously? It certainly has no spiritual influence or content.

What's in Your Bliss?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I look forward to the time when presidents, in their State of the Union messages, routinely bestow Medals of Honor on persons who work for peace in nonviolent ways.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I have stopped being particularly “surprised” by life’s goodness and joy.
“Gratitude” comes closer to describing my reaction.
I no longer feel overwhelmed by the blessings you rain upon me.
I do savor them as they enrich my days.
I don’t “expect” them to continue, nor do I feel “entitled” to them.
Yet they do not surprise me.
For I know I dwell in your grace.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Bring it on, Pilate.”

[Uh, no. Wrong leader.]

D. Blog: A Haiku

Do I have enough time?
“Enough,” you say.
“Focus on the bliss you want.”

What Do We Know?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

The peace of God passes all understanding because we choose to focus on war instead.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I confess: I am an idealist, a progressive, a liberal.
I believe in peace and nonviolence.
I believe in justice and love.
How could I not?
I believe in you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I kid you not, Jonah, people will pay good money one day for stones like these to ‘improve’ the looks of their property.”

[He didn’t say this, but did He know?]

D. Blog: Parentage

We are God’s children. Imagine that… In my conception of the Holy One, I cannot escape the truth of this amazing fact. What could be more amazing than that we are offspring of Divinity?! (Even if we are “only” adopted, and this is not my view of the situation, to be a child of God is an incredible reality.)

What would my parents think??? And, what’s true for me is also true for everyone. Do they know?

What do you Park when entering Worship?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

We will all know peace in death. Knowing it in life should not require others to die.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Like Abram, we receive your call/invitation to move out, to step out of our familiar places and comfort zones to go where your spirit leads us. If we have the courage to do this, then life contains excitement and adventure. We remain youthful, hopeful, trusting in your guidance. We find renewal and become different persons from what we were, just as Abram became Abraham.

As I accept the call/invitation, I, too, find blessing and can then provide blessing to others.
So be it.

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“My parents took me to Egypt and all they brought back was me – not even a lousy T-shirt.”

[Palestinians who fled to Egypt. Interesting… But He never said this.]

D. Blog: A Parable

I went one Sunday to a church where people used to park their buggies outside the building. Now they park their Bibles on the shelves over the coat rack. That Sunday, there were more Bibles than coats on the racks. I know what happened to the buggies. What will happen to the Bibles?

Women & Bumperstickers

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace takes no prisoners; it makes converts.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

New day.
New start.
New to-do list.
New possibilities.
New encounters.
New learning.
New chance.
New hope.

Life is good. Yeah!!
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Ain’t no Son-shine when I’m gone.”

[It could be true, but He never said it.]

D. Blog: Women do Bumperstickers

- Keep your laws off my body.

- Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.

- Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, only backwards – and in High Heels!

- Goddess Bless America

Here's Your Word!

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace on Earth cannot happen apart from peace with Earth.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Becoming aware of your presence brings wisdom.
Recognizing your blessings inspires gratitude.
Accepting your forgiveness makes us merciful.
Seeing creation’s wonders fosters humility.
Walking with you gives us peace that overcomes fear.
Knowing you adds reverence to and for life.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“A crumb from my table, Samaritan woman: God loves you, and so do I.”

[Now we know why He never said it…]

D. Blog: Word of the Week

“Syzygy”

Who knew there could be so much connected to this unusual word???

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia and Wiktionary, the free dictionary:

Syzygy is a kind of unity, especially through coordination or alignment, most commonly used in the astronomical and/or astrological sense.
Syzygy is derived from the Late Latin syzygia, "conjunction," from the Greek σύζυγος (syzygos), "yoked together."

Astronomy
In astronomy, a syzygy is the alignment of three or more celestial bodies in the same gravitational system along a straight line. The word is usually used in context with the Sun, Earth, and the Moon or a planet, where the latter is in conjunction or opposition. Solar and lunar eclipses occur at times of syzygy, as do transits and occultations. The term is also applied to each instance of New Moon or Full Moon when Sun and Moon are in conjunction or opposition, even though they are not precisely on one line with the Earth.

The word 'syzygy' is often loosely used to describe interesting configurations of planets in general. For example, one such case occurred on March 21, 1884 at around 23:00 UTC, when Mercury transited the Sun as seen from Venus, and Mercury and Venus both simultaneously transited the Sun as seen from Saturn. It is also used to describe situations when all the planets are on the same side of the Sun although they are not necessarily found along a straight line, such as on March 10, 1982.

Gnosticism
In Gnosticism, a syzygy is a divine active-passive, male-female pair of aeons, complementary to one another rather than oppositional; in their totality they comprise the divine realm of the Pleroma, and in themselves characterise aspects of the unknowable Gnostic God. The term is most common in Valentinianism.

Mathematics [You might choose to skim/skip this section]
In mathematics, a syzygy is a relation between the generators of a module M. The set of all such relations is called the "first syzygy module of M." A relation between generators of the first syzygy module is called a "second syzygy" of M, and the set of all such relations is called the "second syzygy module of M." Continuing in this way, we get the n-th syzygy module of M by taking the set of all relations between generators of the (n-1)th syzygy module of M. If M is finitely generated over a polynomial ring over a field, this process terminates after a finite number of steps; i.e., eventually there will be no more syzygies (see Hilbert's syzygy theorem). The syzygy modules of M are not unique, for they depend on the choice of generators at each step.

Medicine
In medicine, the term is used to signify the fusion of some or all of the organs.

Music
Syzygy was the name of the electronic music duo that recorded for Rising High Records and Infonet Records in the 1990s. Dominic Glynn and Justin Mackay produced a hybrid of techno, ambient and electronica culminating in the cult album "Morphic Resonance".
Syzygy is the name of a composition written by Michael Brecker, can be found on the album titled: Michael Brecker.
Syzygy is also the name of a 1998 CD made by the band Lynch Mob. It is a project led by former Dokken bandmember and guitar virtuoso George Lynch, and a composition by the late tenor saxophonist Michael Brecker of his self titled album.

Philosophy
In philosophy, the Russian theologian/philosopher Vladimir Solovyov (1853–1900) used the word "syzygy" to signify "unity-friendship-community," used as either an adjective or a noun, meaning:
a pair of connected or correlative things, or a couple or pair of opposites.

Poetry
In poetry, syzygy is the combination of two metrical feet into a single unit, similar to an elision. Consonantal or phonetic syzygy is also similar to the effect of alliteration, where one consonant is used repeatedly throughout a passage, but not necessarily at the beginning of each word.

Psychology
In psychology, Carl Jung used the term "syzygy" to denote an archetypal pairing of contrasexual opposites, which symbolized the communication of the conscious and unconscious minds. The conjunction of two organisms without the loss of identity.

Zoology
In zoology, syzygy is the association of two protozoa end-to-end or laterally for the purpose of asexual exchange of genetic material,
the pairing of chromosomes in meiosis

There is much more in the Wikipedia entry, but I conclude with a couple of interesting tidbits about the word:

Syzygy is the shortest English word containing three y 's. It is also the second-longest common English word containing neither a, e, i, o, nor u, being tied with rhythm. (The longest common word with this characteristic is rhythms, although it is beaten handily by the archaic word twyndyllyngs.)

And, it is the highest scoring word that can be played in Scrabble without using a vowel.

So You Want to Drive?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

War produces drama, but only tragedy. Peace might seem boring to some, but it produces joy.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Hope springs eternal, for you are eternal.
Life without hope is impossible, just as life without you is impossible.
We live with hope, for we live with you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“When was the last time you washed your feet, Peter?”

[He just couldn’t stand the stench… But He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: On Driving

We took a three-day trip this week. It confirmed again a conclusion I reached some time ago: Too many people drive as if they’re afraid they’ll be late for their funerals.

Maybe this story relates. It is about driving, but mainly I just think it’s funny:

A boy has just gotten his driving permit. He asks his father, who is a minister, if they can discuss the use of the family car. His father takes him to his study and says to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."

After about a month the boy comes back and again asks his father about the use of the car. They again go to the father's study. The father says, "Son, I'm real proud of you. Your grades are higher and you've studied your Bible diligently. But you didn't get your hair cut..."

The young man waits a moment before responding: "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair...."

To which the father replies, "Yes, and except for the 40 days Noah was on the ark, they walked everywhere they went!"

Letters or Words?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Political peace won’t come without spiritual peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

If ever I doubt your magnificence, let me see mountains.
If ever I doubt your wisdom, let me consider trees.
If ever I doubt your glory, let me try to imagine the number of galaxies.
If ever I doubt your grace, let me recall my failings.
If ever I doubt your love, let me watch a mother care for her child.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“It’s a large crowd, so I hope Peter isn’t running the sound system.”


[Or interpreting? But no, He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: Person of Letters or of Words?

We sometimes read of a “person of letters.” Let me quibble with that phrase. For letters, in the smaller sense of the word, are nothing unless they convey words (unless l-e-t-t-e-r-and-s become “letters”). And “letters” in the larger sense are worthless unless they express something meaningful, and clearly.

In contrast to letters, words are remarkable, miraculous really. No wonder we attribute them to divinity as the original source. No wonder the gospel of John identifies Jesus as the ultimate Word from God. He conveys meaning. He speaks clearly through voice and deed. He reveals the divine to those of us who are often blind and deaf to the holiness around us. As the Word, He can teach us the power and the miracle of words.

Taking Pictures

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

“Jesus loves me, this I know.” And I know Jesus loves Mohammed, too.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You live in this world, as well as in every other world.
You live in nature.
You live in humans.
Jesus knew this.
His followers saw this in Him.
They saw it in themselves.
Too many people can’t believe it.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“First they hear my sermon, then we hand out the food.”

[It had to start somewhere, but not with Him.]

D. Blog: Poetry

Taking Pictures

“The camera doesn’t lie,” she said.
But it does, I thought
“Take a look at this mug shot,” joked her friend, who
said what all of us thought who were there for new id badges.
“Lifeless,” I thought even as I saw the sharp color
and enlarged computer screen previews.

I think the same even after the animators
or film makers create moving pictures.
The best I judge as “true to life,” but,
still, lifeless.

The picture – color or moving or worth a thousand words –
remains a flat representation of life.
As such, the best it accomplishes is to remind me
of the depth and substance and spirit found
in the third dimension.

Joking Around

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace. . . What a concept!!

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I hope you like a good – or even a silly – joke. I surely do.
I hope you like to laugh. I do.
Life can be comical, and laughter does a spirit good…
Have you heard the one about calling heaven and getting your voicemail system?
It’s pretty funny. In after-hour emergencies, the instruction is to call our local pastor!
The joke might be on us…
Good one!
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“If you must know, pi was one of God’s jokes on mathematicians.”
[I don’t get it, and He never said it.]

D. Blog: The Cynic’s Dictionary

AUTHOR:
A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

BOSS:
A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

CHILDHOOD:
The rapidly shrinking interval between infancy and first arrest on a drug or weapons charge.

DENIAL:
How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.

EXPERIENCE:
In the working world, something you can't get unless you've already got it, in which case you probably don't want any more of it.

FITNESS:
Salvation through perspiration.

GOURMET:
A food fetishist.

HOOKER:
A working woman commonly despised by people who sell themselves for even less.

IDEOLOGUE:
Generally an obscure humorless zealot who finds fulfillment by spouting the ideas of famous humorless zealots.

JEANS:
Lower half of the international uniform of youth, the upper half being the zits.

KLEPTOMANIAC:
A thief with breeding.

LABORATORY ANIMALS:
Furry foot-soldiers drafted in the name of science. Some die nobly in the battle to eradicate cancer; others give their lives so that we might produce a peach-scented dandruff shampoo.

MARTIAL ARTS:
A family of Asiatic self-defense disciplines consisting largely of sweeping ornamental gestures of the arms and legs; amusing to look at but disappointingly ineffective when one's opponent is armed with a
semi-automatic.

NEIGHBORS:
The strangers who live next door.

ORGASM:
The punchline some women just don't get, generally because their mates have a tendency to rush through the joke.

PARASITE:
A base creature that extracts a living from the lives of others, like a tapeworm or a biographer.

QUAGMIRE:
Any situation more easily entered into than exited from; e.g., a guerrilla war, a bad marriage or a conversation with an insurance salesman.

REDNECK:
Popular term for a rustic male, but rarely employed when addressing one in person.

SMILE:
To expose a portion of one's skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

TRAILER PARKS:
Latter-day gypsy camps scattered throughout the vast American hinterland; humble places of abode where hope dies young and tornadoes gravitate like flies to roadkill.

UNWED MOTHER:
One who helps perpetuate the genes of an unwed father, without the latter's talent for becoming invisible at will.

VOTING:
The right of our citizens to do as they please behind a curtain, as long as they do it alone.

WHITE SUPREMACISTS:
The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.

X-RAY:
A diagnostic tool used to detect existing cancerous growths and create new ones to make future examinations more fruitful.

Y-CHROMOSOME:
A line of genes designed for men only; the cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

ZOO:
A pleasant and instructive wildlife park, lately denounced for depriving animals of their right to starve or be eaten alive in their natural habitats.

Working the Fields

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

My Lord, what a mornin’, when the peace begins to shine.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You provide my inner strength, my inner calm.
You provide my vision and my hope.
Of what or whom shall I be afraid?
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Yeah, I’m Jewish. Got a problem with that?”

[Well? No, I don’t, and He never said it.]

D. Blog: A Parable

"Fields ripe for harvest..."

Once there was a seminary student working with a congregation to develop some programs for children of poor neighborhood families. She went out to find children who would talk with her.

In one block she knocked on all the doors and found only retired people. In another block, she knocked on all the doors and found but one family with a child, and she was only eight months old.

Then she came to a trailer park with more than 200 trailers. She feared for her knuckles, but a boy playing in the street offered to take her to the trailers where school children lived.

What to Announce from Your Bumper

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I refuse to believe that peace has left the building…

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Deliver us from evil.
Evil actions by others, or by us.
Deliver us from evil.
Evil attitudes in us.
Deliver us from evil.
Evil policies by corporations and governments.
Deliver us from evil.
Evil systems of commerce and “development.”
Deliver us from evil.
Evil application of natural and human resources.
Deliver us from evil.
Evil misuse of your sacred name.
Deliver us from evil.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Forgot me not.”

[Close, maybe, but He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: Random Bumpersticker Proverbs

- Oh, no! Not another learning experience!

- If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

- I love my country…, but I think we should see other people.

- People never lie so much as after fishing, during a war, or before an election.

Are You Flappable?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I’m a pacifist, and I vote.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

My heart goes out to the hurting and lost.
But it cannot stand the terrible pain.
It reels from the cruelty and the magnitude of suffering.
My heart does not have the strength to deal with what it feels and knows.
It wants to protect itself.
It wants to limit its response to something it can manage.
My heart needs you, needs your all-encompassing heart.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“That butterfly stroke is cool, James. But I’d rather walk – it’s faster.”

[His stride is quicker than the stroke, but He never said this, positive.]

D. Blog: What’s Up With That Word?

“Flappable”

Is there such a word? Why do we usually hear “unflappable” but not “flappable”? Why do dictionaries sometimes omit “flappable”? Here’s an interesting sequence of online dictionary entries.

From www.answers.com:

unflappable adj
Definition: cool and calm
Antonyms: disconcerted, nervous, upset, worried [Note: no flappable]

From Merriam-Webster online dictionary:

Main Entry: un·flap·pa·ble
Function: adjective
Etymology: un- + flap (state of excitement) + -able
Date: 1954
: marked by assurance and self-control
----

From dictionary.com (Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary)

flap·pa·ble –adjective Informal.
Easily upset or confused, esp. under stress

Origin: 1965-70; back formation from UNFLAPPABLE

[In other words, unflappability comes before flappability. Stoicism before excitement – sounds like a man thing.]

Rats!

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

“Go to war, go to hell.“
[Rephrasing Gen. Sherman’s statement.]

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

The variety of beliefs about you makes my mind tired. I suppose this variety reflects the variety of our experiences and our personalities. We project those onto you, then say you are responsible for the beliefs as well as for the experiences.

I line up with those who think your responsibility for our experiences is only of an indirect kind. You have no need to control the details, nor do you care to judge us for our actions and beliefs. They carry enough of their own consequences in our lives.

I believe, for instance, that you are loving and forgiving and desire that we be the same. If we are, then life generally goes better for us and we experience happiness. That is simple consequence, not reward given as judgment on our behavior. Of course, bad things happen even if I live what I believe. But the bad is not punishment, just a risk that comes about as part of living.

You continue to love and forgive, and if I live accordingly, then I can maintain a happy spirit despite the bad. I dwell in the assurance of your care and the sense that all life is blessing. If my beliefs are wrong? Nah.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I’m King of the Universe!”

[No matter what we think of Him, He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: Ratatouille

On the day of Chinese New Year, we celebrated the Year of the Rat by watching the movie “Ratatouille.” Delightful! Alice observed that it must be a pretty amazing movie if it made her feel sympathy for rats (we once belonged to a city church where rats were a serious problem).

The key line for me in the film came when the highly critical critic wrote his appraisal of the restaurant where the chef was a rat: “Not everyone can be an artiste, but an artiste can come from anywhere.”

The same can be said of goodness, or inspiration, or prophets, or a redeemer – from Nazareth, even.

To Be or Not To Be?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Did you hear? No war in Scandinavia or Costa Rica or Switzerland. What’s up with that?!

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Where did we get the idea that we need to seek you?
It now seems to me we need but recognize your presence.
We do not so much need to seek as to stop trying to hide from you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“How will your healing affect my bottom line? That’s what I want to know.”

[Some physician He was. He never said this.]

D. Blog: To Be Or Not To Be?

Dying sometimes looks easy, as when we are tempted to ask: “To be or not to be?” Dying ends the difficulty of living.

When it’s summertime and living is easy, however, dying looks difficult, like something to avoid as long as possible.

We escape/avoid neither dying nor living. Living leads to dying; that’s an absolute physical reality. Death leads to new life, not necessarily our own; that’s also an absolute physical truth, while an absolute affirmation of spiritual truth, too.

Be or not be? The answer is: both.

Worship

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Every war puts the Prince of Peace on a newly constructed cross – not the old rugged one.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

When did the natural world become so amazing and spectacular to behold?
When did my family become such a joy-filled group of seekers?
When did my home and surroundings supplant vacation destinations as the place I want to spend my time?
When did work become something else?
When did my body become a thing of wonder even as it was in my infancy?
When did the creative human products in arts and crafts and technology become absolutely miraculous to me?
When did you move from out there into the essence of who and what I am?

When you touched my eyes and I could see at last.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Anybody seen my boots and Stetson? I want to see if W recognizes me.”

[He probably had a divine sense of humor, but He never said this – I’m pretty sure.]

D. Blog: Is It Worship?

Worship, 21st Century Style

Walls of the church echo
the choir’s “How Can I Keep From Singing?”
as the congregation sits, respectfully mute.

Heavenly

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

If peace were a fruit, what would it be?
A peach? A fig? A pomegranate?
A watermelon? An apple?
I suppose one could argue for the grape, but
I go with the apple, the spiritual fruit.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You have patience without limit…
You have tolerance without limit…
You have love without limit…

However,

You cannot abide injustice and oppression…
You cannot abide hatred and “exclusiveness”…
You cannot abide idolatry of any sort, and especially that of worshipping ourselves…

We can only appeal to your grace.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Heaven is a gated community.”

[The idea came from somewhere, but not from Him.]

D. Blog: Heavenly

The song line says “Don’t take this heaven from me.”

I think that does not happen. Heaven remains with us even if we experience pain and suffering. Likewise goodness. They all live on despite the changes in our circumstances. We have a hint of this truth in the saying that the good that people do lives on long after they die, or that love is eternal.

I experienced all of that yesterday. With family members. With my church family. With the installation service for a chaplain who had recently been ordained. She happens to be openly lesbian. How refreshing that no one needed to mention it, much less protest it, in that religious setting. Heavenly, I think.

The Questions Seekers Ask

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

“Jimmy, why do you say peace is like an elephant?”
“Because it’s big and hard to stop.”

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Tell me again: how do you spell your name?
Oh, right…
And would your pronounce that slowly for me, please?
Uh-huh, right. I get it now. Thanks.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“That was a great New Year’s Eve party at your parents’ place, Andrew. Has Peter recovered from his hangover yet?”

[Not in so many words, no, He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: A Parable

Rich Young Ruler Revisited

A young man, very devout and dedicated to God, sought clarity about the path he should follow.

Among some monks he learned the importance of discipline, prayer and study.

In an inner city parish, he learned the importance of serving those in need.

Yearning to learn more, he visited a famous spiritual guide. “How can we show love to our brothers and sisters?” he asked the old woman as they sat at dinner.

“Take your turn washing the dishes,” she replied.

What's in Your Bible?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I would like to rest in peace before I die…

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Did you hear the one about the blonde who…
Ah, I guess you could be blonde…
And making you the butt of jokes won’t win any points for me…

But, if you know they’re jokes to make people laugh, not to belittle you?...
I think your sense of humor must be incredible to absorb all our laughter.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof. But never mind all that. You have to make a profit.”

[It’s in the big oil bible, but He never said it.]


D. Blog: Bumpersticker Proverbs

1. “What’s our oil doing under their soil?”

2. “Hybrid cars: so many miles, so little gas.”

3. “Draft SUV drivers first”

4. “How many lives per gallon does it cost us?”

Word of the Week

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Get thee behind me, war. I’m on my way to peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You are unbelievable!!!
Well, in a sense…
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Peter, when you get those fish ashore, how about wrapping them in plastic to keep them fresh?”

[Jesus and plastic. Now, there’s a concept… Never said it.]

D. Blog: Word of the Week – “rambunctious”

Lots of exuberant fun with this one, especially regarding its origins.

YourDictionary.com says:

adjective meaning: wild, disorderly, boisterous, unruly, etc.
Etymology: earlier rambustious, altered (prob. by assoc. with ram) <>

Merriam-Webster online records:

Function: adjective
Etymology: probably alteration of rumbustious
Date: 1830
: marked by uncontrollable exuberance : unruly

American Heritage Dictionary online has:

Boisterous and disorderly.
ETYMOLOGY: Probably alteration of robustious, rumbustious, from robust

Worldwidewords.org makes clear:

Cautious dictionaries say “of unknown origin”, an open invitation to strange and inventive suggestions.

[Like those above. Maybe the word is the origin of the Rambo character??]

New Year's Day to Remember

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Forgive me for suggesting it George, but it appears that your biggest “accomplishment” has been the destruction of tens of thousands of lives – of people who just want to live in peace. Where’s the peace?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I can’t get over your majesty; it never ends.
I can’t get over your glory; it knows no bounds.
I can’t get over your wisdom; it’s beyond comprehension.
I can’t get over your love; it astounds me.
I can’t get over you; I hope I never will.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Keep touching my robe, woman, and I’ll give you what for.”

[No, that’s not quite what He said.]

D. Blog: New Year’s Day to Remember

The pastor got word from a homeless friend that all the usual shelters would be closed on New Year’s to allow their employees and volunteers to celebrate the holiday. A cold day was forecast, however, and the woman wondered if she could take shelter in the church building.

Knowing something about the homeless population in the city, Reverend Joe checked around to see whether his friend had the correct information. Yes. Coming off the Christmas season activity rush at the church, he didn’t really want to tackle the problem and take time away from his wife and children. But the story of the Samaritan was in his blood, the parable of the judgment rang in his ears, the concern for his homeless friends made him act.

At 7 am on New Year’s Day, the first church members showed up to open the building to the first people seeking shelter. Other members and guests kept arriving, the members with food and clothing and blankets, with DVDs to entertain and willingness to engage the guests in conversation, the guests with hunger for the food and the warmth both physical and emotional.

By late afternoon, when the guests could return to the re-opened homeless shelters of the city, about 50 church members and 100 homeless friends had engaged in the communion of food and drink, giving and receiving, sharing their lives in countless ways.

Loaves and fishes to begin the year, lasting memories of a miraculous day. Parades and football games were not part of it.

More than Spice

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Is there an intentional message in the fact that war memorials are dominated by cold stone and metal? Peace gardens that I’ve seen contain lots of plants, flowers and water features.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Giving credit where credit is due, I credit you for everything in space and time and any other dimension that exists.

Compared to your achievements, our puny efforts seem trivial. You love us anyway, and that I find out of this world! But, honestly, you had me at my first breath.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I can’t get enough chocolate. That’s what Satan should have used to tempt me.”

[Divine food, perhaps, but He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: Variety

They say variety is the spice of life.

As I look at my daily experience, though, it appears that variety extends far beyond the spice. I think variety might compose the essence of life, the meat and potatoes, the rice and beans, the fish and bread and wine of life.

Perhaps my life is simply spicier than most. I don’t think so, but in any case I propose a toast: To Variety! She gives life excellent flavor!

Join the Peace Race

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

The violent need our compassion.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I guess you always look on the bright side.
I try, but sometimes…?
Forgive my lack of faith.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Is there a john around here?”

[As opposed to the bushes, I suppose? No, He never said it quite like this.]

D. Blog: The Peace Race

I have an idea for a new kind of international competition. Think of it as a “Peace Race,” in which nations make a case like: “Our peace beats your peace because…”

- none of our citizens goes hungry, homeless, or without medical care
- we have a 98% literacy rate
- we reduced our global footprint by 25% per person in 5 years
- our military spending is only 10% of our national budget, and our foreign aid is equal to it
- etc., etc.

We could strive to be a super peace power.

Why Innocent Suffering?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace talks are good. Peace actions speak louder.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy Child,

We depart from your manger, and we take precious gifts with us – peace, love, joy and hope.
May they sustain us through your years of preaching, healing, teaching and confronting intolerant religion and oppressive government.
May they carry us through your awful crucifixion into the bright light of your resurrection, when, again, our lives are blessed with peace, love, joy and hope.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I’m gellin’”

[It had to come from somewhere… But not from Him.]

D. Blog: Unmerited Suffering

Our congregation recently dealt with the death of a teenager whose life was a continuous medical tragedy. Her family had become a recent addition to the church family, and most of the congregation had not met this daughter because of her physical limitations and the church building’s accessibility issues.

Despite the best efforts of family and the gods of medical science, the girl could not be “cured” or “saved.” It was perhaps a miracle that she lived for 19 years. In the end, as throughout her life, filled as it was with her winsome spirit and playfulness, we all asked “Why?” Why this unwarranted suffering?

I imagine what might be considered an unworthy response from God, but one that does not stray far from what the writer of Job imagined: “Shit happens. I’m sorry. We’ll deal with it together.”

What Did You Give the Christ-Child?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I believe peace will make a strong comeback.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy Child,
Sometimes it seems that we seek you. Sometimes it seems you seek us.
Lead us to your side.
We are wise to seek you, to search beyond the places of power and prestige, to accept that we might find you in poor and unlikely places, in the company of the unrefined and impolite.
Lead us to your hiding place.
We are wise to bring gifts to you, to offer those things that bring you honor. Most fittingly, that means the best we have and are. Trusting and loyal hearts, for instance. Our precious talents and hard-won abilities. Our love and devotion.
Lead us to give at your manger, your cross, your empty tomb.
We are wise not to reveal your whereabouts to demonic authorities, who will pervert your purpose and your values, charge admission to your presence, claim your sanction for their violence.
Lead us to take another way, one that ends at our home with you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Thanks to the gifts the astrologers from the east gave me, I will never need to earn my way.”

[Maybe He had a sense of entitlement, but He never said this.]

D. Blog: A Parable

"Herod is about to search..."

A Sunday school class went looking for gifts in a shopping mall. In each store they asked a sales clerk to recommend something for the Christ-child. In one store they bought a live Christmas tree. In a department store, they had some earmuffs gift-wrapped. At the candy store, the clerk just cried and cried and cried.

What's on Your Bumpersticker?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Greatness only comes with peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy Child,

You have come, and my heart overflows with love of you.
You have come, and you fulfill my longings as no one else can.
You have come, and with you life knows hope and promise where there was despair and futility.
You have come, and with you, the greed and violence of the world can be surmounted.
You have come, and with you, a light reaches into the dark places of my life.
You have come, and I know that God has touched my life with blessings I could never have imagined.
You have come, and heaven and earth sing alleluia for the salvation you bring.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“The ‘down through the chimney’ part is far-fetched, I know, Judas, but calling it a violation of the prohibition against bearing false witness? Isn’t that a bit harsh? It’s just a story for children after all.”

[And flying reindeer? He didn’t need to say it.]

D. Blog: Bumpersticker of the Day

“We Still Pray”

This bumpersticker always gives me pause. First, I wonder what attitude lies behind it. Stubborn resolve in the face of unbelievers all around? Defensiveness toward those who don’t see any signs of divine favor toward those who pray? A simple reminder that some pray-ers remain? A kind of rebuttal to the no official prayer in public schools legislation?

Beyond that question of motivation, I usually have an internal response of some kind. You still pray, and…?

“And we’re better people for it”?
“And if you don’t, we feel sorry for you”?
“And that’s why we’re consigning you to hell”?
“And this SUV is the reward for our prayers”?

Or, you still pray, but…?

“But our kid is failing her tests anyway”?
“But God caused that tree to fall on our house”?
“But our team hasn’t won a game all season”?
“But when the rapture finally comes, we’ll be much happier”?

Something about this little statement also reminds me of Jesus’ teaching about praying in private and not making a public demonstration of it.

Oddities

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

“Peace is lots more fun than war.” – Jenna, age 10

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy Child,

You have come into our world of pain and sorrow.
The fact that you experience them, too, makes you more accessible to us.
You have come into our world of happiness and joy.
The fact that you experience them, too, makes them even greater blessings in our lives.
You have come into our world of greed and violence.
The fact that you experience them, too, reminds us how far we are from the dominion of God.
You have come into our world of light and love.
The fact that you bring them, too, reveals to us how near we are to the dominion of God.
Holy Child, thank you for coming into our world.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“The fourth wise man brought a partridge in a pear tree as his birth gift. Mom & Dad ate the partridge, but the tree was a dud. It never bore fruit and the wood could only be used as kindling.”

[The text does not say how many wise guys, but He never said this…]

D. Blog: Weird Word:

"Cockamamie"

Part of Speech: Adjective

Meaning: Absurd, outlandish, implausible, too crazy to be believed.

Notes: This word was popular in the 1930s and 1940s but has fallen into disfavor of late. It lives alone without any derivational kin. That doesn't mean, of course, that we should let it slip out of the language altogether: find a way to use it today.

In Play: This is a good word to toss into conversations with your grandparents, who will remember it with fondness: "Grandpa, where did you get that cockamamie hat you're wearing?" But it is such a funny word, we should pass it on to the next generation, too: "A bat flew into the car window and caused you to swerve into a tree? Do you expect me to believe a cockamamie story like that?!"

Word History: In the middle of the 19th Century sticking decals on everything became a mania in Victorian Britain, so much so that the Brits borrowed a French word, decalcomania "mania for decals", to describe it. (Our current word, decal, by the way, is an abbreviation of that word.) The original word, decalcomania is made up of the prefix de- "from, off" + calquer "to copy, trace", plus the word for "mania", French manie. So what has this cockamamie story to do with today's Good Word? Cockamamie is, in fact, nothing in the world but a mispronunciation of decalcomania that, over the years, has gained currency as the slang adjective it is today.

[from www.alphadictionary.com]

Why We Give

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

We can survive quite nicely without nuclear weapons.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy Child,

You arrived like one of us, but apparently without benefit of a baby shower. We try to make up for it with our gift giving.
You grew like one of us, but… there’s the account of your encounter with scholars in the temple. We don’t have such precociousness.
You lived like one of us, but… 40 days in the wilderness, attracting crowds of followers, alienating people in high places. We might not stand out so.
You died like one of us, but… innocent of any crime, a tortured death. Most of us don’t face it quite like that.
You are remembered like us, but… no comparison.
We bow to your supremacy.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Read it again, Mommy – Green Eggs and Ham.”

[How could He not have said this? Let us count the ways…]

D. Blog: Big Days

The big days lie behind us. Gone are those emotional roller coasters from disappointment to glee to frustration to joy. The sacred presence was not always recognizable, but was there as we did our part to increase the level of happiness and goodness in our family and friends.

Why? The answers vary. Just because. Just because it’s the traditional thing to do. Just for the fun of giving and sharing. That’s enough reason, God knows. For many of us, however, there is another reason. We recall the gifts from the Holy One, including a man who demonstrated what God is like and what we can be. We can be gifts to others. We can offer healing and peace. We can reflect outwardly the love and the spirit power that lies within us.

What Was Baby Jesus Like?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Call me an aging hippie, but I still think we need to give peace an honest chance.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy Child,

Who knew that your lowly birth would lead to an annual birthday party without equal in human history?
Who knew that your lowly birth would lead to legend and myth accepted as gospel by millions of people?
Who knew that your lowly birth would support the economy of the richest nation the world has ever seen?
Who knew that your lowly birth would lead to a short life as an itinerant prophet and to a lowly death of shame?
Who knew that your lowly birth would lead to a movement that overturned the religion of a great empire?
Who knew that your lowly birth would lead to a world-wide religion bearing your name?
Who knew that your lowly birth would lead to momentous changes in individuals, groups, societies, governments, and religion?
Who knew that your lowly birth some 2000 years ago would lead to our mass gatherings now in honor of that event?
Lowly to lofty. Maybe God had a hand in it.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“They say I was a demon as a baby.”

[Wouldn’t you like to know? But He never said it – not in English.]

D. Blog: A Haiku

Until the clouds come,
I savor the sunshine.
Peace brings me through the storms.

Weighty Resolution

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

“When this war is over, it will be a good new year…
But it won’t mean nothin’ to the poor boys in their graves.”
[-- radio song lyric whose writer’s name I didn’t hear…]

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy Child,

These many years after your birth, the star’s light cannot be seen.
Your light shines many times brighter.
These many years after your birth, the shepherds and wise men have returned to obscurity.
Your fame is unmatched in human history.
These many years after your birth, Herod and his empire have long since passed from the scene.
You continue to rule in your dominion and in our hearts.
These many years after, we join the throng who celebrate your birth.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Will the magi bring presents for my birthday again next year, Mom?”

[Maybe He spoke as an infant, but He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: Weighty Resolutions

When I was young, I never needed to make resolutions to lose weight. In recent years, however, it has made sense to do so. I have joined what I think of as “The Church of Latter-Day Weights.” I know something about the major denominations: Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins, South Beach. Having always had something of an independent spirit, I didn’t join any of them. I do have my "weightual" disciplines, though. Each morning, I stand on the holy ground of my scale – without shoes – and the scale fills my eyes with good news. Each day, I take a 30 to 60 minute walk with God. She talks to me, reminding me that we’re doing this for my own good. I nod in agreement, thinking perhaps I should form my own denomination: Church of The Weigh – Independent and Scale-Believing.