What's in Your Bible?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I would like to rest in peace before I die…

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Did you hear the one about the blonde who…
Ah, I guess you could be blonde…
And making you the butt of jokes won’t win any points for me…

But, if you know they’re jokes to make people laugh, not to belittle you?...
I think your sense of humor must be incredible to absorb all our laughter.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof. But never mind all that. You have to make a profit.”

[It’s in the big oil bible, but He never said it.]


D. Blog: Bumpersticker Proverbs

1. “What’s our oil doing under their soil?”

2. “Hybrid cars: so many miles, so little gas.”

3. “Draft SUV drivers first”

4. “How many lives per gallon does it cost us?”