Humor Me

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I am a tree hugger by nature, a peacelover by nature, a dreamer by nature. You can’t fight Mother Nature.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

If we ask you for bread, you do not give us stones.
If we ask you for love, you do not give us condemnation.
If we ask you for joy, you do not give us suffering.
If we ask you for peace, you do not give us war.
If we ask you for justice, you do not give us injustice.
If we ask you for hope, you do not give us despair.
If we ask you for wholeness, you do not tear us apart.
If we ask you for freedom, you do not enslave us.
If we ask you for life, you do not send us into oblivion.
You provide our needs. Our misery comes from elsewhere.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Don’t I know you from somewhere, miss?”

[His original pickup line? No.]

D. Blog: Religious Humor

Fishing Story…With a Twist

A rabbi, a Presbyterian minister, and a Wiccan priestess decide to go on a fishing trip together. They drive to a local lake, rent a boat, and head out on the lake for a day of fishing.

As the afternoon approaches, they get hungry—and realize that they left their lunches on the shore of the lake.

The minister gets out of the boat, walks across the lake, picks up his lunch, walks back to the boat and sits down to eat.

"You should have gotten all of our lunches!" scolds the priestess. She then gets up, walks across the lake, picks up her lunch as well as the rabbi's, walks back across the lake and sits down, handing the rabbi his afternoon meal.

The rabbi at this point is almost out of his mind, his eyes wide with shock. He manages to sputter, "Wha... what... how did you...?"

The minister grins at the priestess, nudges her, and asks "Do you think we should tell him about the rocks?

With raised eyebrow, she replies "What rocks?"