Sunday, November 30, 2008

Darwinian vs. God

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace comes like a rainbow – after a storm, beautiful, elusive.
Peace is like a butterfly – delicate, lovely, unpredictable.
Peace is like a dove – gentle, calm, soothing.

B. Unabashed Christian:

God of Grace,

Every breath comes as an amazing gift,
Every thought a sign of your mercy.
When I think of the love in my life, I know it reflects the love you hold for me.
I can express my thanks only on occasion, but know that I enjoy my life, and I understand it comes only by your grace.

God of Glory,

Can we measure the galaxies? Can we apprehend the workings of a cell?
They hint of your glory.
Can we read the glance between lovers or explain the sacrifices of a parent?
They are but reflections of your glory.

Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Oops!”

[Even if He ever made a mistake, He didn’t say this – no English.]

D. Blog: Religious Humor


The Darwinian vs. God Contest

One day a group of Darwinian scientists got together and decided that humans had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one Darwinian to go and tell God that they were done any supernatural being.

The Darwinian walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go get lost."

God listened patiently and kindly to the man. After the Darwinian was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this? Let's say we have a human-making contest." To which the Darwinian happily agreed.

God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."

The Darwinian said, "Sure, no problem," and bent down and grabbed a handful of dirt.

God looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You get your own dirt!"

Saturday, November 29, 2008

As Good As It Gets

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

When peace comes, I want to dance with my wife – no matter how ungraceful I look.
When peace comes, I want to sit down for a conversation with Osama.
When peace comes, I want to play “Ring-around-the-rosie” with some children.
When peace comes, I want to write a song.
When peace comes, I want to stand on my head.
When peace comes, I want some pizza, a piece of cheesecake and a bottle of wine.
When peace comes, I want folksingers to celebrate in huge hootenannies.
When peace comes, I want to say a prayer of thanks – with everybody on earth.
When peace comes, what do you want to do?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We give thanks that you are ready to receive our praise and our petitions, our thanks and our trust.
We give thanks that you are ready to hear our requests for help in our individual lives and in our corporate life.
We give thanks that we can approach you with our concerns and our celebration, that you listen and respond.
We give thanks that we can come to you personally, privately and publicly, because you put up no barriers to our approach.
We give thanks that you are ready to share in our lives, even unto death and beyond.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Was that as good for you as it was for me?”

[I’m 100% certain He never said that – not in English anyway.]

D. Blog: Stop-Light Reading

- I don’t eat anything with a face

- The sooner we bring them home, the more of them we bring home

- Peace is the only safe border

- When religion ruled the world, they called it the dark ages

Friday, November 28, 2008

New Word to Me

A. Unabashed Pacifist –

Children for Peace:
Because we deserve it.
Because your wars hit us the hardest.
Because war is a horrible example for us.
Because war robs us of hope.
Because war is no way to live.
Because peace is better.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

No one can match your peaceful landscapes.
Your hues of green and blue and brown and green and orange make a mellow contrast to warring colors of red, black and silver.
Paint our spirits in those mellow shades.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I want you to remember my coming into the world by observing a season of excess and gluttony.”

[Not what He said to the disciples in the upper room, despite what the US economic system wants us to think.]

D. Blog: Weird Word of the Week

“Piepowder”

A travelling man, a wayfarer, an itinerant merchant or trader.

This ancient word was originally the Anglo-French pied-poudreux, meaning someone with dusty feet (in Scotland the term was sometimes translated into the delightfully Tolkienesque dustyfoot). This was a graphic description of the state of someone travelling about on the unmade roads of medieval England. The word was most often applied to itinerant merchants who toured the country to buy and sell at fairs. Many of these fairs had been established by royal charters that gave rights to lords of the manor or religious houses to charge taxes and tolls and to enforce them. The enforcement was carried out in a rough-and-ready way through courts of piepowder (in Scotland these were sometimes known as courts of dusty feet). These courts usually had jurisdiction over such matters as contracts, trespass and debts, and they sorted out trading disputes, punished theft and violence and did their best to keep order. Because few such fairs lasted more than three days, justice had to be swift and summary. The piepowder courts died out during the course of the nineteenth century along with the fairs that had brought them into being; the last is said to have been that in Hemel Hempstead in Hertfordshire, which last met in 1898.

[From Michael Quinion’s World Wide Words website.]

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Giving Thanks

A. Unabashed Pacifist --

Cooks For Peace:
We plan, prepare and serve meals that do a body good.
We know some of the ingredients for peace, too.
Have people share a decent meal around a table.
Let them talk about their hopes and their families.
Let them express thanks for the meal.
Then let them plan to eat together again in peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We cannot thank you enough.
Really.
Life. Earth. Plants. Animals. Food. Water. Air.
Bodies. Minds. Spirits. Families. Friends.
Learning. Wisdom. Art. Science. Technology. Creativity.
Health and strength and daily bread.
Joy. Sex. Hope. Imagination. Courage. Love. Generosity. Kindness.
Faithfulness. Beauty. Compassion. Forgiveness.
Memory. Peace. Jesus.
We cannot thank you enough – for any one of these blessings.
Really.
Little enough that it is, however: Thank You!
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Please pass the ham biscuits.”

[Not even at the harvest celebration did He say this.]

D. Blog: A Thanksgiving Prayer

A 4-year-old boy was asked to return thanks before the Thanksgiving dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip.
Then he paused, and everyone waited--and waited.

After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I say thanks for the broccoli, won't God know that I'm lying?"

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Messiah Complex?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

The whisper of peace met the marching beat of war. Between the blaring notes of the band, some people heard the insistent psst: “Peace now, Peace now, Peace now.”

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Before you created the universe, was it terribly boring?
Before you created life, did all seem empty?
Before you created humans, did you feel lonely?
Before you created love, did everything seem cold and sterile?
I’m glad we might have helped relieve your possible depression.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“My therapist says I have a messiah complex.”

[A therapist might have been right, but Jesus never said this.]

D. Blog: A Response to Some Inconsistent Theology

I once received “correction” for my understanding of grace. “A price had to be paid for our sin” my self-proclaimed teacher asserted.

What makes divine grace so amazing is that it is absolutely free. If it’s free to me but somebody else paid for it, it ceases to be amazing. This very issue put Jesus in conflict with scribes and Pharisees, because he pronounced forgiveness when no price had been paid.

Why do some people have such a difficult time accepting that God, like any other loving parent, could forgive us without a price being paid? And then shamelessly accept God’s forgiveness when they think somebody else paid a price/ransom God demanded?

I think it’s probably true that people who hold this view of grace will only forgive others if a price is paid to them…

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Source of Energy

A. Unabashed Pacifist

Carpenters for Peace:
Our mission is to build homes and communities where peace abounds. Our tools are constructive implements that make our mission possible. How about you? Does your mission match ours? Do your tools make that mission possible?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You give the energy of hope.
You give the energy of perseverance.
You give the energy of vision.
You give the energy of imagination.
You give the energy of good examples.
You give the energy of faith.
You give the energy of love.
You give the energy of life.
We can pass it on.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“In another life, Thomas, because you want proof, you’ll probably be a scientist.”

[Edison, perhaps? He never said this!]

D. Blog: A Haiku

This looks like a good day to say “thank you.”
Yesterday, too.
And so forth…

Monday, November 24, 2008

Which Red Hat Society?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

War is a failure. Of imagination. Of love. Of nerve.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Do you plan these amazing skies?
In my opinion, your copyright is unassailable and you win every art competition.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Who are all the cool old women wearing red hats? I think I’ll get Mom a hat like that for Christmas?”

[Nope. Not before the Cardinals started wearing them. One can imagine, though…]

D. Blog: No Thanks to a Rose Garden

People talk sometimes about the promise of a rose garden. I’m glad God never made such a promise. Roses are pretty and they smell terrific, but a garden of them means a lot to learn, a lot of planning, a lot of work, a lot of expense – and thorns everywhere. And then the flowers wither and die.

The imaginary garden is fine, as is seeing a rose garden in bloom, one that’s kept by someone else – usually, in my experience, more than one person and often not by the owner of the rose garden.

Do you think we have material for a parable here???

Sunday, November 23, 2008

About That Light Bulb...

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

If I should lose my mind, remember these words of mine: PEACE NOW!

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You bless us with memory that gives our lives depth and breadth and substance. Memory makes us whole. Memory adds perspective to the present and promise to he future. Loss of memory diminishes who we are.

You are like an archive of our memories. What we have forgotten, you recall. In you, none of us is forgotten. You remember. Thank you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I’ll see your death and be raised in three days.”

[No, not what He said to Pilate.]

D. Blog: Light bulb Jokes
[Be thankful – I’ll only do this once!]

Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.

Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for her to get it done.

Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.
A2: None of your damn business!

Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. ("That's all right...I'll just sit here in the dark...")

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, but they're really only one.

Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!!!

Q: How many Radcliffe girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's "Women" and it's not funny!

Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

Q: How many valley girls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Oooh, like, manual labour? Gag me with a spoon! For sure.

Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, One to write the light bulb insertion program, and One to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

The Battle Rages

A. Unabashed Pacifist

The Ultimate Fight:

Sticks and stones,
Knives and guns,
Tanks and bombs,
Grenades and missiles

Vs.

Words
And the Word Become Flesh

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Whither can I go from your spirit?
If I climb the mountain heights or sail the ocean deep, you are there.
If I wander the desert waste or walk the sandy shore, you are there.
If I ascend the peaks o joy or sink in pits of depression, you are there.
If I stroll the valleys of delight or stagger with pain and fear, you are there.
I will, therefore, move securely through this life and the next, confident that you accompany me anywhere.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“In my next life, I’m riding a horse!”

[What He didn’t say when He got off the donkey after His ride on Palm Sunday.]

D. Blog: Wisdom Ahead of Me

- The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. – Tacitus

- What good is a good leader going in the wrong direction?

- Evolution is just a theory – kind of like gravity!

- I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ. -- Gandhi

Friday, November 21, 2008

Strangely Pink...

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

War = Hell in a Handbasket

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You are our end, and you are near.
You are the one to whom we aspire, our goal and destination.
Your nearness is absolute. You surround us, contain us, embrace us.
In you we live, move and have our being. There is nothing outside your presence.

You are our final resting place, the one to whom we go upon our death.
Our End, you are near. We rest in peace.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Let me put you on hold, Satan. I’m on the line with Dad.”

[Prayer as phone line to God? No, not exactly.]

D. Blog: Tickled Pink??

[Thanks to Gary Martin at www.phrases.org.uk]


Meaning: To be delighted.

Origin
The tickling here isn't the light stroking of the skin - it's the figurative sense of the word that means 'to give pleasure or gratify'. The tickling pink concept is of enjoyment great enough to make the recipient glow with pleasure.

That meaning of tickling has found its way into several phrases relating to pleasure, dating back to the early 17th century.
- Samuel Hieron, Works, 1617: "Well might they haue their eares ticled with some pleasing noise."
- Rollin's Ancient History, 1734: "Eating in Egypt was designed not to tickle the palate but to satisfy the cravings of nature."
- Nathaniel Hawthone's Passages from the French and Italian note-books, 1864: "Something that thrilled and tickled my heart with a feeling partly sensuous and partly spiritual."
- St. Nicholas (magazine for boys and girls), 1907: "I'm tickled to death to find some one with what they call human emotions."
- And, in 1910, in an Illinois' newspaper, The Daily Review, in a piece titled 'Lauder Tickled at Change', we have:
"Grover Laudermilk was tickled pink over Kinsella's move in buying him from St. Louis."

The inclusion of the term in a newspaper, without any explanation of meaning, indicates that the writer expected readers would already be familiar with it. It seems that that phrase didn't originate much before 1910 though.


[But why pink? Why not purple or red or blue?]

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Common or Uncommon?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace without a sense of purpose is a platitude.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We will walk through the valley in peace.
We will sail on the ocean unafraid.
We will hike in the mountains as if at home.
If Jesus himself is our brother, then
We will walk through the valley in peace.

We will soar in the sky calm as an angel.
We will drive down the highway with serenity.
We will stroll on the shore safe from harm.
If Jesus himself is our brother, then
We will walk through the valley in peace.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

Dear Benjamin: Having a wonderful time in Jerusalem. Big parade today. Wish you were here. Love, Your Big Brother, Jesus.”

[Not likely? Impossible!]

D. Blog: Changing Times?

The times, they are a-changin’.
Always. The question is only, is the change for the better, or not? We hope for the better. It usually works out that way when the hopes of “common” people come to some fruition.

“Uncommon” people, who presume to be above us commoners, wear designer clothes and fly in private jets and go on corporate retreats to uncommon places. They will try to block or divert those commoner hopes to satisfy their uncommon desires for celebrity, power and wealth.

May the coming changes in nation, world and church fulfill many of our common hopes.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

General's Confession

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

What if we set aside 15 minutes of each day for peace?
What if all armed parties agreed to do the same?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Ready to comfort, you do not wait to be asked.
But we do ask for comfort in our distress.
Ready to bless, you do not wait to be asked.
But we do ask for blessing in the lives you have given us.
Ready to guide, you do not wait to be asked.
But we do ask for guidance in ways that bear fruit and life.
Ready to forgive, you do not wait to be asked.
But we do ask for forgiveness for our disregard for you and our disregard for the things that make for life and happiness.
Ready to save, you do not wait to be asked.
But we do ask for salvation from things that diminish our lives.
Ready to love, you do not wait to be asked.
We can but marvel at your faithfulness, and pray for hearts that respond in love.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I’m in training for next year’s Tour de Judea.”

[No bicycles, so He never said this.]

D. Blog: General’s Confession

The general went to confession and sobbed as he said: “War is Hell. All war is sin. Peace is the will of God.”

The priest tried to comfort him. “Was your cause not just? Was God perhaps on your side?”

The general replied with scorn, “War is no more about justice than a basketball game is about gardening. It is about killing and destruction until one side has had enough of the horror. God had enough of dying on the cross. God has nothing to do with war. War is just hell.”

The priest had nothing to say.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Broken...

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Like broken promises, broken peaces mean broken hearts.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One, Holy Goddess,

How we have dishonored and disrespected your part of the godhead. No wonder we experience so much turmoil and suffering. If our God concept is skewed, can our lives be balanced or aligned? Bring s the balance we need so that our lives may be full.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“James, tell Mom I’ll be home for Christmas.”

[Nope, He never said it.]

D. Blog: A Haiku

Sun, moon and stars?
God gave them to me long ago.
Everyone else, too.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Un-Quoting Jesus: "Rosebud"

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Here’s the plan for happiness: love one another.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You open our minds to new things. The old is foundation, but the new drives us onward. You invite our participation in the amazing complexity of a living creation. Instead of memorials to the past, you lead to new and transformed life. Lead on, guiding light and resurrection hope.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Rosebud.”

[No, that was not the 8th word from the cross.]

D. Blog: Resurrection: TV Opinion Poll

A couple of years ago, one TV network touted a program called “Do You Believe in the Resurrection?” – or something like that.

Isn’t that special…

- Is a TV show going to change anyone’s mind?
- Resurrection as fodder for a big audience (largely of those who do believe).
- Did they also ask what difference it makes in how those people live?
- I assumed they meant Jesus’ bodily resurrection. If the assumption is correct, then no, I don’t believe in it.
- I emphatically do believe in His resurrection on at least three other levels: (1) His spirit lives in and among those for whom He is Lord; (2) He lives in His new body, the church, visible for all to see; (3) millions of people experience resurrection of the kind that matters, finding new life after being crushed by circumstances beyond their control.
- That being said, I find that the idea of Jesus’ physical resurrection is inconsequential and beside the point. Give me real resurrection over imaginary. Even if physical resurrection happened, it would not really make a difference in our experience of it.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

A Child's View of Evolution

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Here’s a challenge to the door-to-door evangelists: What do you make of Jesus’ pacifism?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One, Divine Mother,

You gave us life. You care for us. You nurture us.
And we ignore you, even deny you.
Heal our lack of vision and understanding.
Restore the sense we were born with – to seek you for care and warmth and protection.
Free us from the rigid obsession with your male image.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I am the way – fer.”

[No-o-o, He didn’t say that.]

D. Blog: Evolutionary Theology


“Grandma, did God make you?”


“Yes.”

“Me, too, right?”

“Yes.”

“I guess God got better at making people.”

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Have You Seen These on Bumpers?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I’ll see your peace and double it.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We fare well when we greet the sunrise. To see the sun appear over the eastern horizon reminds me of seeing the empty tomb at Easter. New life, no more death, new opportunity in life. You give us this daily reminder – if we are awake to see it.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“On the other hand, young man, perhaps you should keep some of your wealth – just so you have something to fall back on when the market crashes.”

[Not where His interests lay, so He never said it.]

D. Blog: Wisdom Right in Front of Me

- Send our kids to college, not Iraq!

- Three things cannot be long hidden: the son, the moon, and the truth. –Buddha

- Just say no – to sex with pro-lifers.

- If we don’t protect freedom of speech, how will we know who the assholes are?

Friday, November 14, 2008

Got Your Jugate Yet?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

If peace came up for sale on eBay, what would we bid?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

How sad, how ironic – your followers depressed and mourning when death had no power over you.
How sad, how ironic – some who claim to follow you also expect you to precipitate mass murder beyond imagining, for they choose death over life.
How sad, how ironic – so many of the rest of your followers keep silent about this perversion of your message, this abomination and desecration of your name and your risen life.
Raise us from this tomb.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Rock of Ages, cleft for me.”

[Not what He said when He left the tomb.]

D. Blog: A Word We Needed?

Catchword: jugate


Part of Speech: n.

Quotation: "According to Warlick, the popularity of a president, the quantity of buttons produced and the design content are key factors. Buttons with photographs are always more sought after by collectors. Buttons that include both the presidential and vice-presidential candidates are called jugates and are highly prized, especially if they include photographs of the candidates."

Article or Document Title: “WorthPoint Political Memorabilia Expert Releases USA Button Poll Revealing Likely Presidential Winner”

[Curious to see the jugate of the Palin-McCain ticket...]

Article, Document, Publication, Web Site:
MarketWatch
Date of Publication: Oct. 31, 2008

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Come, Healing River

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Like E.T., Irene wants to go home. Here home lies in our homes, communities, nations and world. Bring her home.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You do not go away. You live in and around us.
You do not go away. Hope is realistic.
You do not go away. Faith in you makes sense.
You do not go away. Peace is possible.
You do not go away. We dwell in security.
You do not go away. You chose us to bear your fruit.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“The people have spoken.”

[And their ignorance is often a revelation. He didn’t say this when the crowd shouted for Pilate to have Him crucified.]

D. Blog: Healing River

Western North Carolina has suffered drought since before we moved here. The French Broad River is said to be the lowest it’s been in the lifetimes of those who grew up in the area. Today we’re getting rain. We will lose the last of the fall color and some visitors might be disappointed, but we’ve learned to give thanks when it rains, or when it snows, as it might in a few days.

The song “O Healing River” comes to mind, for it is essentially a prayer for rain to come and wash away the dryness of destruction and blood of death on the land. A prayer for renewed hope, wounds healed, green growth where desolation has been imposed.

Let it be so…

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Who's This Trinity?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

“Country First” is not a slogan for peace (nor is it good theology).

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Fear and hope do battle in us. They color our perceptions of the world, life and you. But you always invite our hope, always speak a word of promise, always offer a vision of justice, freedom and peace. You encourage us, love us, forgive our failings, surround us with your spirit.

The devils of fear don’t stand a chance against you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I never heard of Trinity. Where does she come from?”

[The imaginary world of Matrix. I guess that’s why He never heard of it.]

D. Blog: Remember: It’s Armistice Day!

They now call it Veterans Day in the US. In Europe it’s still a day that marks the end of World War I.

An end to war, not a celebration of those who fought in them, nor of the “victory” they achieved on behalf of the “homeland.”

An end to war and the celebration of the promise that came with that end, not an occasion of national pride and another bit of pomp and circumstance to stir patriotic fervor in the young.

An end to war, a new beginning for peace, resurrected hope in the future.

How we label the day makes a difference…

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Is It A Dream?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

It is logically impossible to love God and intentionally kill another human being. The Bible text that says this: “How can we love God, whom we have not seen, if we hate/kill a brother/sister whom we have seen?”

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

When I feel frustrated or depressed,
You raise me up to new life.
When I am anxious or fearful,
You raise me up to new faith.
When I run into road blocks or dead ends,
You raise me up to new possibilities.
When I get tired and worn,
You raise me up to new inspiration.
When I feel death nipping at my heels,
You raise me up with the promise of enjoying resurrection life.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Well, sorry, Dad. I thought you might like a tie on this Father’s Day.”

[Just wondering what His other gift-giving might have been like. But absolutely no ties.]

D. Blog: Just Dreaming

Through the mist, the edge of a looming cliff.
On my back, a parachute designed for this Bond-like eventuality.
Its designer dubbed it “Fear not.”

Monday, November 10, 2008

Are You Helping Yourself?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.”


So, if you’re not a peacemaker, whose child are you?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Sometimes I feel like an orphan – help me know happiness.
Sometimes I feel like a beggar – help me know security.
Sometimes I feel like an invalid – help me know healing.
Sometimes I feel like a victim – help me know peace.
Sometimes I feel like a sinner – help me know forgiveness.
You do all of that and more.

Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus, The Answer:

“How should I know?”

[Just wondering if He ever said it. No record that He did, of course.]

D. Blog: Helping Ourselves

The saying has it that God helps those who help themselves. I used to think that saying represented a terribly self-centered view of our relationship with God. I used to think it left out all those lepers and others who could not help themselves to divine assistance. I used to see that saying as another invitation to blame the victims of the multiform misfortunes in this life. I also thought it gave permission to be greedy, which would be encouraging us to sin and to pass by those who need our assistance, even to take advantage of them (whenever deregulation gave the opportunity).

While I continue to recognize the negative potential in the saying, I’ve come to view it from another angle, too. It can mean that we must work toward our dreams. It can mean that we need to seize life-enhancing opportunities that come our way. It might mean that some risks are worth taking if we want a fulfilling life. Then, when we help ourselves in those situations, the divine force for life, the positive energy that fills creation works with us.

Hope and change go together…

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Final Answer?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Rest in Peace –
Children, you need it.
Young adults, you desire it.
Old people, you deserve it.
Dead ones, you have it.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You lead us to love one another, for love conquers even death.
You lead us to love our neighbors, for they, too, bear your image.
You lead us to love the world, for that’s what you do – enough to send Jesus, enough to anticipate a divine dominion in the world, when we love the world as you do.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Peter, is that your final answer?”

[Not what He said when Peter made the confession of faith.]

D. Blog: Religious Humor - Perhaps

There is a story about a monastery that sat perched high on a cliff, several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket, which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was frightening. One tourist got extremely nervous about half-way up the cliff, when he noticed that the rope that heal the basket was old and frayed. With trembling voice, he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."

[Think about it. You might find that it’s a parable, not simply a joke.]

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Jesus, Answer Guy (Part 3)

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

If making peace were a competition, would we have many entrants?
If making peace were a competition, who would be training for that Olympic event?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Our cries of pain and desperation, our shouts of joy and ecstasy.
You hear them.
Our whispered hopes and unmet expectations.
You hear them.
Our silent pleas and profound praise.

You hear them.
Our unspoken dreams and heart-felt desires.
You hear them.
Now bless us with your hearing as we send our prayers to you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus, The Answer:

“Do I look like I’m from around here? Don’t ask me for directions!”

[He didn’t say it. But I wonder, did He ask for directions when He was lost?]

D. Blog: Have You Seen These on a Car in Front of You?

- That was Zen. This is Tao.

- People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

- Liberals treat dogs like people while conservatives treat people like dogs.

- Last time we mixed politics and religion people got burned at the stake.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Where Does A Pundit Come From?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

The first thing on my list of favorite things: Peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You satisfy my needs. My cup is full.
You give more than I need. My cup overflows.
You fill me with good things. I have dessert enough.
You bestow love and forgiveness. What could I lack?
You promise life in your dominion. I cannot ask for more.
You rock!!
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus, Answer Guy:

“The Answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.”

[Well, He did have followers named Peter, Paul and Mary. Didn’t say this, though.]

D. Blog: Where Does A Pundit Come From?

From the Online Etymological Dictionary:

“Pundit”

1672, "learned Hindu," especially one versed in Sanskrit lore, from Hindi payndit "a learned man, master, teacher," from Skt. payndita-s "a learned man, scholar," of unknown origin. Broader application in Eng. is first recorded 1816.

[Hindu… Hmm. That might explain why we outsource our thinking to these talking heads.]

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The Promise of This Election

A. Unabashed Pacifist

Chefs for Peace:
War has no need of us. Peace is our friend. War leaves a horrifying taste in our mouths. Peace offers diverse and sweet flavors. We have a recipe for peace: full stomachs all around.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You are the More.
More than our reasoning can prove.
More than our minds can grasp.
More than the truest justice Solomon ever rendered.
More than our words can describe.
More than our images can convey.
More than even the gospels portray.
More than all we have thought or done in an attempt to please you.
More than the greatest love the world has known.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus, Answer Guy:

“That’s a good question. I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

[That, too, is an answer, but He never said it.]

D. Blog: The Election of Obama

The election of Barack Obama has moved me like nothing before in my experience of US politics. Even the end of the US war in Vietnam, another moving political event for me, is a distant second. Like many others who are trying to describe their emotional reactions to Obama’s election, the words don’t come easily. The triumph over the racism that is such a dark and destructive part of US history. The prospect of moving from fearful and greed-full to more hopeful changes in economic, social, energy, environmental and foreign policies. The vivid demonstration that the ideals put forth in the Constitution are not always just words. The profound celebration and inspiration it has caused around the globe. The sense that perhaps we are learning to live with our broad diversity. All of that and more contribute to my emotional response, a catharsis of sorts, in my depths.

Some don’t see it that way, of course. I note some of the mean-spirited, hateful, bigoted and cynical responses. Part of the promise of this election is that now they will become a smaller and smaller minority. Hope will win over fear and greed.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Jesus, Answer Guy (Part 2)

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Jesus embodied peace, yet His body suffered violence. We perpetrate violence, yet expect to have peace. Maybe ours is the backward approach to peace…

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

After the joy and celebration, life goes on.
After the party and gifts, life goes on.
After the feasting and visiting, life goes on.
After the praise and worship, life goes on.
And it is better.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus, the Answer:

”As soon as my Google is up, I’ll respond to your question.”

[Pro basketball fans call Allen Iverson “The Answer.” And what IS the question that either of them answers??]

D. Blog: Political Comment


Am I dreaming? Where am I? How could this happen? Is this truly a land of promise? Why aren’t we talking about Florida at this point? Will the Supreme Court intervene? Did I hear somebody say: “The Supreme Court has announced a verdict”?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Jesus, Answer Guy

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

When Peace Like a River Attends My Way,
I dance with exuberance.
I frolic with hope.
I sing with emotion.
I hug with abandon.
I shout with joy.
I want it to go on and on.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I wish I knew how it would feel to know peace in Iraq.
I wish I knew how it would feel to know peace in Sudan.
I wish I knew how it would feel to know peace in Zimbabwe.
I wish I knew how it would feel to know peace in Congo.
I wish I knew how it would feel to know peace in Washington, DC.
I wish I knew how it would feel to know peace among Americans.
I wish I knew how it would feel to know peace among Christians.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus, the Answer:

“How would I know the way to San Jose?”

[If He knew, He didn’t tell.]

D. Blog: “IF” Revisited

If you can stand against the crowds who shout for war,
If you can see the other person’s point of view,
If you can appreciate the goodness of a religion other than your own,
If you can bow in wonder at the sight of a sunrise,
If you can take a middle ground between opposing factions,
If you can empathize with victims of violence,
If you can offer shelter to the homeless, a way to obtain bread to the hungry,
If you can work for justice when to do so is inconvenient,
If you can express your opinion with determined yet humble spirit,
Then you will be a Mensch, my child.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Jesus is the Answer?

A. Unabashed Pacifist

Candles for Peace:
We may flicker, but for all the dark places in this world, we light a ray of hope for peace. May you likewise burn for peace and reflect it from your hearts.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

From the many perils that threaten us, deliver us.
From pangs of doubt, fear and guilt, deliver us.
From sin, violence and deceit, deliver us.
From disease, brokenness and decay, deliver us.
From physical, emotional and mental pain, deliver us.
From greed, lust, and triviality, deliver us.
From cold, hardened and broken hearts, deliver us.
Your great mercy prevails.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“You want to know the Truth, Pilate? Have your people get in touch with my people for the Answer to that one.”

[It has a nice ring to it, but He never said it.]

D. Blog: Political Comment

The problem with McCain/Palin fighting a culture war? Their financial security does not match the financial condition of the people with whom they are claiming to identify. Their reality cannot connect with the “real” people they pretend to represent.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Jesus Saves?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

May God’s peace rest within, upon and around you.
May God’s peace challenge, inspire and guide you.
May God’ peace reflect in you to shine on those who meet you.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

In the vastness of the cosmos, we occupy a minute space, hardly noticeable in your sight.
In the scope of eternity, our lifespan barely registers at all.
So why would you care for us? Why would you pay any heed to us?
Because of your amazing grace.
Because the universe is not entirely void, cold, dark and lifeless.
Because you love what you have created.
Because, incredibly, you created us in your image.
Because we represent part of your great purpose.
Let us live through our concerns and joys with those awesome truths embedded in our souls.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Forgot about your life-saver, did you, Peter?”

[So He rescued Peter, but He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: Memory

The old man in the hospital bed has a mind that plays tricks on him. One moment he lives in the present, the next in the distant past. Part of me says, “What a shame!” Then one of the past moments reveals itself as the time when he and his wife of almost 60 years were planning their wedding. The catch of wonder in her voice tells me “Memory is an awesome thing!”

Saturday, November 1, 2008

How About a Peace Sabbath?

A. Unabashed Pacifist

A Peace Vision: What if all those who long for peace would wage a one- day-per-week strike against participation in the political and economic and religious systems that support war? No working. No buying or selling. No TV or movie viewing. No watching sporting events. Instead, walk-outs and read-ins for peace. We could call it a “Peace Sabbath.”

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I wanted to pray, but there was too much I had to do.
I wanted to pray, but I thought I would get to it later.
I wanted to pray, but work intervened.
I wanted to pray, but I was enjoying myself too much.
I wanted to pray, but there were all those trick-or-treaters.
I wanted to pray, but I’m so clumsy with words.
I wanted to pray but it wasn’t Sunday.
I wanted to pray, but I’m much better at action.
I wanted to pray, but I missed the opportunity.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I’ve learned that saving people from sin is generally easier than saving them from stupidity.”

[Although He came close to saying this about His closest followers, it would have been in Aramaic, not English.]

D. Blog: Just Waiting for Your Bumper

- A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

- Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

- No one has more driving ambition than the teenager who wants to buy a car.

- There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.