Petty Squabbles - in Church?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

“If I can’ have peace, I’ll just die!!” – hyperbole (??) from Cassie, age 11.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We close our eyes in your bright presence.
We bow our heads before your majesty.
We bend our knees before your might.
We fold our hands before your mystery.
We come to prayer.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“My church will never get caught up in petty squabbles.”

[Maybe His won’t, but ours do. He didn’t say it, however.]

D. Blog: Hymn #365 (Religious Joke)

A southern Baptist minister was completing a temperance sermon.

With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." And finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

Sermon complete, he then sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile: "For our closing song, let us turn to Hymn #365, ‘Shall We Gather at the River.’"