Bumper Speaking

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Do not forsake me, oh my darlin’ Eirene.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

There is some discipline involved in these conscious moments with you, but that merely enhances the satisfaction, and it seldom crosses my mind that I’m practicing a discipline. I simply enjoy sitting with pen and notebook in hand, waiting to hear what you whisper in my mind. Always it is something fresh to my ear. Always it sparks a new idea, a surprising turn of phrase, an unusual perspective. I cannot dream of comprehending your infinite creativity, so why do we seem to try to put boundaries on that?
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“My kingdom for a camel.”

[Not one of the temptations, so He never said this.]

D. Blog: Bumperspeak

- “It doesn’t require many words to speak the truth.” – Chief Joseph

- “None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.” – Goethe

- War is Terrorism with a Bigger Budget

- God is too Big to fit into one religion

Stood Up, Again

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace comes to those who “wait” upon it, in both senses of that word.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You supply enough to go around. Enough joy. Enough love. Enough peace. Enough laughter. Enough beauty. Enough stimulation. Enough mystery. Enough wonder. Enough challenge.

There is plenty, in other words, to satisfy our hunger and thirst for more than our physical needs.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Are you smarter than a 5th grader?”

[He didn’t say this when He stayed behind in Jerusalem as a 12-year-old and astounded the temple priests.]

D. Blog: "Stood Up"

We had an appointment, but my sister stood us up. Okay, she forgot. Simple enough. Not so simple, apparently, is finding out where this “stood up” terminology came from. My usual sources of such information can only tell me what it means (Duh!), not how it makes any sense to say breaking a date has anything to do with standing up. Any ideas??

Got Enough?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

When I have enough, I know peace. When I want more than enough, I know insecurity.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You supply for my needs – and more.
But there are many others who have great needs.
Help me resist the temptation to convert fashions and whims and luxuries into needs.
Help me instead to follow the impulse to share from my excess with those whose needs outpace their resources.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Over hill, over dale, we have hit the dusty trail.”

[His experience, but not His words – or tune.]

D. Blog: A Genesis Writer’s Confession

"I made up a story about the beginning of the world. People heard it and liked it for the insights it contained. Some of them began to wonder if it was true or if it was merely history. Later, some people thought it was history and they didn’t care about the truth, just couldn’t handle it. But they think they know the story I wrote. Sometimes I think I should not have written it…" -- J

Lying Fallow

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

In ev’ry season, turn, turn, turn – to peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I think I’ll take it slow today. You say slowing or shutting down or lying fallow occasionally does wonders for our spirits. You provide wonders for us all the time, but it helps if we prepare ourselves to receive them. So I imagine Isaiah did not say only “Here am I, send me” but also at times “Here am I, feed me.”
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“TGIF!!!”

[No, He didn’t say this -- even on a Good Friday.]

D. Blog: Lying Fallow

Inevitability

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

War only delays the inevitable: peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You dwell in me, even before I know it. You live in every particle of my body. I have no choice in the matter. Without you, I die, I cannot exist. Without you, being does not occur – in anyone or anything.

Your Spirit impregnates our bodies as well as our minds. Again, we cannot prevent it without destroying our selves. But why would we want to deny your place in us? Do we not speak of joining you in “heaven?” We just prefer, it seems, to think of that as someplace else. We cannot seem to grasp, as Jesus did, your eternal divinity abiding within us in this incarnated life.

Oh, what joy divine when our minds come around to this truth!
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Don’t sit under the olive tree with anyone else but me.”


[What He never said to Mary Magdalene.]

D. Blog: A Haiku

I have no other choice.
I see no other hope.
I must turn to You.

Caution: Men Grilling

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I am a free man, a man touched by divinity. Thus, I don’t do war.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

False images. Incomplete images. They abound as we attempt to understand and describe you.

Some images we get right, however. At least I hope we do. They remain incomplete and blurred images in a dark glass, but we think we see you as loving parent, faithful friend, trustworthy guide, powerful presence, sustaining force, mystery behind and in all, source of all that is, root of our freedom.

Incomplete, no matter how many we imagine, yet they help us see your face through our human lenses and language. I can tell you are awesome and beautiful.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I feel a pea under this mattress.”

[If anyone could, He could – but He didn’t say so.]

D. Blog: Caution, Men Grilling

This is supposedly the day men begin firing up their grills for the summer. Frankly I don’t get the appeal. Messier. Vastly more expensive and labor intensive. Grilling frequently encounters problems and leads to stories about male ineptitude. Stoves are for cooking, and they are much more efficient.

I get the idea of husbands “giving a break” to their wives, but that doesn’t really happen. And it could more easily happen in the comfort of the kitchen where everything needed is right at hand. So, I don’t see the sense of the grilling rituals. But I have a theory: men like adventure, men carry some primal memory of cooking over an open fire, men like fancy gadgets, men like to play with fire, and men like to compete with one another. (Pardon my stereotypes). In other words, the phenomenon has very little to do with cooking…

Plans Changed

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Every war is a defiant act of vandalism against God’s estate.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

There’s been a change in plans.
I thought I would become a mathematician, accountant, sociologist, professor of German.
There was a change in plans.
I thought I would marry Jean, Jeanine, Joan, Bonnie, nobody.
There was a change in plans, an Alice.
I thought I would settle in California, Colorado, Indiana, Illinois, Virginia, Maryland, DC.
Plans changed, a NC.
I thought I would remain a member of my original religious group all my life.
There was a change in plans, another call.
Here I am, where you led me, where I found my home, in my land of milk and honey.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I’ll see you and raise you.”

[Not exactly, no, He didn’t say that.]

D. Blog: Life is Good!

If the grass grows, life is good.
If flowers bloom, life is good.
If rain and snow fall, life is good.
If trees thrive and rivers flow, life is good.
If mountains stand to fill the horizon, life is good.
If moon and distant suns shine in the night, life is good.
If I am known, appreciated, loved, life is good.
If I enjoy friendship, laughter and conversation, life is good.
If I can sense beauty and joy, life is good.
If I feel that I contribute to my community, life is good.
If I sense the sacred in each moment, life is good.

Life is Good, YEAH!!

Where's the Parade?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

If war ends tomorrow, the sorrow and shame will not.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Don’t you get tired of our selfishness?
Don’t you get tired of our inflated opinion of ourselves?
Don’t you get tired of our wastefulness?
Don’t you get tired of our immaturity?
Don’t you get tired of our awful stupidity?
Don’t you get tired of our lack of compassion?
Don’t you get tired of our warring?
Don’t you get tired of us?
Don’t you get tired?
We sometimes do.
Then we are reminded that you do not.
Thank you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Well, I guess we could go to the Mardi Gras parade instead.”

[What He didn’t say to the disciples as they headed into Jerusalem.]

D. Blog: Watch Out!!

- Drive Carefully: 90% of all people are caused by accidents.

- Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.

- Don’t pray in my school and I won’t think in your church.

- I’m marching to a different accordion.

What's Your Inheritance?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace is not a catered dinner, but a potluck affair.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

My heart is full. Overflowing, really.
My life is full. Overflowing, really.
My world is full. Overflowing, really.
Whence comes all this abundant goodness?
Oh. Really!
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I hear that Sarah has entered the Miss Universe contest. She’s attractive, but she has no chance against Stkli from the planet UX147.”

[He said the meek would inherit the EARTH, but He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: Pettifogger

From yourdictionary.com:

1. a lawyer who handles petty cases, esp. one who uses unethical methods in conducting trumped-up cases
2. a trickster; cheater
3. a quibbler; caviler

From worldwidewords.org:

The lawyers called pettifoggers spent their time arguing about matters of small importance. The term became popular, and spawned derivatives like pettifogging. These survived the original term, which is now considered archaic, but we retain in the latter word the idea of somebody who places too much emphasis on trifles or who quibbles about minor matters.

From Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary:

Etymology: probably from petty + obsolete English fogger pettifogger
Date: 1576
1 : a lawyer whose methods are petty, underhanded, or disreputable : shyster
2 : one given to quibbling over trifles

[Aha! Most politicians do seem to be lawyers…]

Trivial Pursuits

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Dying in war is usually in vain, always a waste.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

The day looks full from my morning perspective.
I hope you will make it a joy, not a chore.
I hope it will include surprise that gives joy.
I hope it includes laughter that flavors it with pleasure.
I hope it includes love that fills it to abundant satisfaction.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Yeah, but since I cured him, that blind guy won’t be able to play pinball at all.”

[We have to take the bad with the good, but He never said this.]

D. Blog: Star Power

I saw a headline that referred to a “Christian music star.” I have trouble with the concept.

First, to me, “Christian music” means hymns, cantatas, Gregorian chant, even “praise songs.” They all fit within a worshipping community. Outside of that setting, I think the proper term is “commercial music with words that are meant to sound Christian.” The aim is to sell a product that appeals to some Christians.

If you think that’s a bit harsh, try this. My second problem has to do with the word “star” when connected to “Christian.” I believe there is only one “star” for Christians, only one who has the power to shine in our lives, only one who has celebrity status. Anyone else who bears that word is just an idol, and, truly, unworthy of any more attention than any other Christian. To label someone as a Christian star is to set them up for a fall.

Being a Christian is not about fame, it’s about faithfulness to the One who frees us from such triviality.

Sounds of Silence

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

We celebrate the end of war. We grieve the end of peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We need silence.
How can we think without it?
Or reflect or meditate or pray?
Thus, I will wear no device in my ear for hearing music or telephone.
It would make hearing you far too difficult.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Can you hear me now?”

[Cited in an earlier blog, but He didn’t repeat it either.]

D. Blog: Sounds of Silence

What do I hear in the sounds of silence?
My ears stand alert and ready, but they hear only their singing selves.
My mind wants to focus on this moment, but it hears itself racing about in search of a thought, an image, an encouraging word.
My heart beats on autopilot – until its metaphorical counterpart hears the cries in Burma, China, Africa, Iraq, Palestine, prisons, hospitals and homeless shelters.
My silence has ended.

Wasting Away

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

A peace is a terrible thing to waste.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Every day that brings me close to you is a wonderful day.
Here I am. Love me.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Mom, surely you know the way to San Jose.”

[She must have known the way to his heart, but He never said this.]

D. Blog: A Haiku

"Die, strange ones."

Ignorance, intolerance and fear:

A deadly trio.

Walking Small

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Those who seek vengeance never know peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

It’s a wonderful life!
Best movie title ever.
Accolades to you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“No girls allowed!”

[Sorry, guys, but He never said this.]

D. Blog: Walking Small?

Our former county sheriff has collected a lot of local headlines recently. Seems he was convicted of several felonies committed while during his 14-years in office. I didn’t follow the case very closely, but he clearly had problems with handling evidence and gambling. He stashed evidence (weapons) from criminal cases in the cement foundation at a large construction site. He took large sums of cash from illegal video poker game operators around the county, then spent 162 days (when he was supposedly taking care of county business) in one year losing most of it at the casino on Cherokee property.

I think it was Joe Don Looney who starred in the movie “Walking Tall” several years ago. That moved was based on the story of another sheriff in another southern state, but he actually fought the criminal elements in his county. Perhaps our area citizens should propose another movie: Walking Small.

Humor Me

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I am a tree hugger by nature, a peacelover by nature, a dreamer by nature. You can’t fight Mother Nature.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

If we ask you for bread, you do not give us stones.
If we ask you for love, you do not give us condemnation.
If we ask you for joy, you do not give us suffering.
If we ask you for peace, you do not give us war.
If we ask you for justice, you do not give us injustice.
If we ask you for hope, you do not give us despair.
If we ask you for wholeness, you do not tear us apart.
If we ask you for freedom, you do not enslave us.
If we ask you for life, you do not send us into oblivion.
You provide our needs. Our misery comes from elsewhere.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Don’t I know you from somewhere, miss?”

[His original pickup line? No.]

D. Blog: Religious Humor

Fishing Story…With a Twist

A rabbi, a Presbyterian minister, and a Wiccan priestess decide to go on a fishing trip together. They drive to a local lake, rent a boat, and head out on the lake for a day of fishing.

As the afternoon approaches, they get hungry—and realize that they left their lunches on the shore of the lake.

The minister gets out of the boat, walks across the lake, picks up his lunch, walks back to the boat and sits down to eat.

"You should have gotten all of our lunches!" scolds the priestess. She then gets up, walks across the lake, picks up her lunch as well as the rabbi's, walks back across the lake and sits down, handing the rabbi his afternoon meal.

The rabbi at this point is almost out of his mind, his eyes wide with shock. He manages to sputter, "Wha... what... how did you...?"

The minister grins at the priestess, nudges her, and asks "Do you think we should tell him about the rocks?

With raised eyebrow, she replies "What rocks?"

Cars Speak for the Environment

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace called. Please respond ASAP.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

How can I forget the land you promise?
This land does not connect to a particular place or nation or even a continent. It rests upon your dominion of justice and peace, compassion and the humble recognition of your love and forgiveness. In this land, and this land only, I dwell secure, at home in the time and space you graciously provide.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Gimme one reason to stay, and I’ll turn right back around.”

[He apparently thought of one, but He never said this.]

D. Blog: If cars could speak...

- At least the war on the environment is going well.
- An economy based on the consumption of fixed resources will consume itself.
- It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save our environment. – Ansel Adams
- Environmental protection IS a family value.

Got Ergophobia?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

God always calls for the best in us. War doesn’t qualify.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

To have created a world so beautiful, your own beauty must be overwhelming.
Perhaps that explains the biblical accounts of people not being able to look upon your face. You’re too beautiful
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Judas, you’re fired!”

[Right there in the upper boardroom. No, He didn’t say it.]

D. Blog: Got Ergophobia?

Ergophobia is a persistent fear of work. Sufferers of ergophobia experience undue anxiety about the workplace environment even though they realize their fear is irrational. Their fear may actually be a combination of fears, such fear of failing at assigned tasks, fear of speaking before groups at work, or fear of socializing with co-workers. – Ron Kennedy, M.D.

[Hmm. I thought I just didn’t like work; now I learn it’s a medical condition…]

A Rose Garden? Why?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

A shot of peace won’t hurt, I promise.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Speak to me of beauty – it lies before me.
Speak to me of hope – it rises within me.
Speak to me of joy – my heart is filled with it.
Speak to me of love – I rest on its bosom.
Speak to me of truth – I will listen and let it shape me.
Speak to me of peace – it encompasses me.
Speak to me of faith – I trust, so fear finds no room in me.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“My way is the high way.”

[Yes, it is, but He never said this – certainly not in English.]

D. Blog: Rose Gardens

Nobody promised me a rose garden. So what? I never expected one or needed one.

Beauty being in the eye of the beholder, I prefer the garden Earth provides, natural beauty rather than an artificially controlled beauty that is dependent on hybrid, human adaptations.

While I appreciate some rose garden type of beauty, I sometimes wonder whether it has more in common with a parking lot than with Eden.

Do You See an Elephant?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Old soldiers never die – because they leave that to the young.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

All that has gone before and all that may yet come in my life cannot erase or diminish the joy I know in this time and place.

The world can appear terrifying and terrible, but with you I know better. Life is beautiful, priceless, filled with loving potential.

I think I have eyes to see – you in it all.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Blessed are you if, when you hear of wars and rumors of wars, you seek to make huge profits.”

[Not what He meant for us to conclude, no.]

D. Blog: Population Bomb – Still??

Thirty to 40 years ago, we heard about the population bomb, how the growing number of human beings would eventually lead to mass starvation and disease because the carrying capacity of Earth would no longer support our multiplying population. We had not yet heard of global warming, but it, too, is a by-product of our lack of population controls. We knew well enough about the threats of starvation and the crime and other unrest that would result from limited supplies of food and other resources, plus the basic overcrowding in major cities, especially in poorer nations, as people struggled to find means of supporting themselves. Coupled with that, we knew that governments would feel obligated to limit civil liberties as they attempted to exercise control over mounting tensions.

I’d rather not face the prospect, but it’s hard to avoid concluding that coming years will see a period of greater disaster, chaos, violence and death. We have failed in being stewards of God’s good garden – Earth. Perhaps expulsion was/is inevitable, given our limited ability to act in our true best interests. If it comes to the worst, I say both “too bad” (Earth is beautiful and individual humans are amazing) and “we have it coming to us” (because we refuse to see the elephant/bomb in our bedrooms).

No-Brainer, Right, Brain?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace does not compromise justice; it encompasses justice.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Given the choice, I opt for hope.
Given the choice, I opt for encouraging.
Given the choice, I opt for courage.
Given the choice, I opt for diversity.
Given the choice, I opt for beauty.
Given the choice, I opt for love.
Given the choice, I opt for justice.
Given the choice, I opt for sharing.
Given the choice, I opt for peace.
Given the choice, I opt for trust.
Given the choice, I opt for faith.
Given the choice, I opt for laughter.
Given the choice, I opt for truth.
Right, a no-brainer.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“It’s a no-brainer, Satan. I’ll take door number 3.”

[Tempting perhaps, but He never said it.]

D. Blog: A Haiku

Today looks good to me.
New blooms, sunny, warm.
Could Jesus die today?

May Fools' Day?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

There’s a peace in your future.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

How can we measure or judge a whole life? So many influences and hopes and losses and achievements and relationships. We can only see or remember a few of them at a time. I give thanks for reunions, anniversaries, birthdays, weddings and memorial services. For they bring together some of what goes into the life of an individual, a family, a congregation. They connect us with our own lives and give us reason to find the wholeness in them.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Come on in, Peter, the water’s fine.”

[Something like it, perhaps, but He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: More Fools’ Days

We have an April Fools’ day. We need more such days. These would not just involve playing tricks on the unsuspecting. These would acknowledge that we are all fools to rely on violence for security, to think we can “live” by weapons, “conventional” or nuclear. Threatening the annihilation of human life in order to “protect” ourselves – sounds foolish to me. As long as we settle for and celebrate something less than the well-being and peace found in cooperation and community, every day is Fools’ Day.

God's Mother's Day Wish

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

For Mother’s Day, God asked that her children stop all the fighting.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I see glory.
Light and color – glory.
Shape and texture – glory.
Movement and action – glory.
Affection and love – glory.
Compassion and service to others – glory.
Hugs and handshakes – glory.
Art, craft and technology – glory.
Misery detracts but cannot erase – glory.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Who do you think I should take to the prom, Mom?”

[I think her name was Hannah… No, wait, did they have proms back then? No, He never said this.]

D. Blog: A Single Letter

The Pope’s Surprise

Many years ago, a beloved Pope died and went to heaven. Saint Peter greeted him in a firm embrace. "Welcome your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness in serving humanity during your life has earned you great stature in heaven. You may pass through the gates without delay and are granted free access to all parts of heaven."

St. Peter continued: "You are also granted an open-door policy and may, at your own discretion, meet with any heavenly leader including God and Jesus, without prior appointment. Is there anything which your holiness desires?"

"Well, yes," the Pope replied. "I have often pondered some of the mysteries which have puzzled and confounded theologians through the ages. Are there perhaps any transcripts which recorded the actual conversations between God and the prophets of old? I would love to see what was actually said, without the dimming of memories over time."

St. Peter immediately ushered the Pope to the heavenly library and explained how to retrieve the various documents. The Pope was thrilled and settled down to review the history of humanity's relationship with God.

Two years later, a scream of anguish pierced the quiet of the library. Immediately several of the saints and angels came running. They found the Pope pointing to a single word on a parchment, repeating over and over: "There's an 'R'. There's an 'R.' There's an 'R'... It's CELEBRATE, not celibate!"

Talking Cars

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace was at the top of God’s Christmas wish list.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Tell me: does everyone notice the splendor of the universe?
Tell me: has everyone experienced the glories of love?
Tell me: doesn’t everyone hope for peace?
Tell me: weren’t we all born with some potential greatness?
Tell me: does everyone hear your call for compassion and justice?
Tell me: don’t all of us need the lessons of struggle and some suffering and forgiveness?
Tell me: how can anyone resist the attraction of your greatness?
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Just because you say so, Mom, is not good enough.”

[No, He didn’t say that at the wedding in Cana.]

D. Blog: If Cars Could Talk

- Anything war can do, peace can do better.

- Let’s invade Saturn next.

- If you surrender to hate, you have already lost.

- God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts!

What Mark Do We Bear?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I shrink from war, less from fear than from horror at the blasphemous affront to God. We multiply Cain’s crime beyond measure. He was a petty criminal compared to our nation-states, his sin trivial when set against ours, the blood he spilled an insignificant drop poured into the rivers we have shed. If he was a marked man, what are we?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You tell me it is better to chase rainbows than to chase riches.
You suggest that catching fireflies gives greater satisfaction than capturing flags or headlines.
You say I do better to watch the growth of grass or flowers or children than that of power and wealth.
You remind me that I hear more inspiration from wind or water than I will ever hear from preachers or politicians.
You show me that I receive greater joy from an evening with friends than I ever get from an evening spent with a television or a computer.
You put birds and bees in front of me to demonstrate that their natural flight evokes greater wonder in me than any human technology can.
I see a pattern.
I bow in reverence.
I acknowledge your glory.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Practice makes sense for you, Mose, but in my case perfection comes naturally.”

[It might have been genetic in His case, but He never said this.]

D. Blog: Happy as a Clam???

Meaning: Very happy and content.

Origin:
An early version is 'as happy as a clam at high water'. Clams are free from the attentions of predators at high tide, so perhaps that's a reason to consider them happy then. The earliest known citation doesn't mention water though. That's in Harvardiana, 1834:

"That peculiar degree of satisfaction, usually denoted by the phrase 'as happy as a clam'."

The phrase originated in the US and possibly before 1834. In 1848 the Southern Literary Messenger - Richmond, Virginia expressed the opinion that the phrase "is familiar to everyone".

[adapted from www.phrases.org.uk]

Got Friends?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

One good turn deserves another. Let’s turn to peace and see what happens.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

In the flow of daily activities, we often forget about you. The cares or joys draw us in and capture our attention and devotion. I see this as no slight to you, for I believe you want us to be fully engaged with life and to experience it to the utmost. You do not put us in cages or cells or cubicles. You expect fruitfulness. You encourage abundance of life. Like any loving parent, you find satisfaction when we know happiness.

Thus, when I am not thinking about you, but engaged in my activities, you do not mind. I need not feel pangs of guilt when I do remember you and attend to you. I can appreciate and love you all the more for letting me live my life.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“That Mary Magdalene is one hot babe!”

[Sorry, DaVinci Code fans, but He never said this. Not in English…]

D. Blog: Friends
The song says “Make new friends, but keep the old…” Good advice, because friends keep us grounded and move us beyond ourselves. Old friends add depth and breadth to our lives. They connect us to our former selves and the memories we have shared. Friends expand our experience of life by sharing what is meaningful to them. New friends expose us to different life experiences and different views in ways that make them easier to understand and accept. Our lives are richer, broader, fuller when we receive a collection of friends to treasure.

Back and Forth

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

“I have not settled – for war.” – Sister Eirene

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

When I consider your works, how can I despair?
When I consider the human capacity for evil, how can I hope?
When I consider the joy in my life, how can I despair?
When I consider the suffering in my life, how can I hope?
When I consider the bauty everywhere, how can I despair?
When I consider human stupidity, how can I hope?
It seems I bounce back and forth between the two paddles.
But I think Hope will prevail.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Yeah, Pilate, I’m King of the Jews. You wanna make something of it?”

[Well, no, He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: A Puzzle

Ellie is 33 years old today. This is three times as old as Sophie was when Ellie was as old as Sophie is now.

How old is Sophie now?

Who Needs War?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

If we have peace, what will the arms industry do?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Earth is yours, and all that dwells thereon.
Plants, animals, rocks, trees.
Earth is yours, and all that dwells thereon.
Oceans, lakes, rivers, ponds.
Earth is yours, and all that dwells thereon.
Fish, birds, mountains, glaciers.
Earth is yours, and all that dwells thereon.
Minerals, vegetables, nuts, fruits, grains.
Earth is yours, and all that dwells thereon.
Period.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Let’s wait a few minutes, Mary. I just took my little purple pill.”

[No. No way. He never said this.]

D. Blog: A Haiku

God’s peace surrounds us.
God’s love enfolds us.
Of what shall we be afraid?

Talk About Politically Incorrect!

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

War. Talk about politically incorrect! (Morally, too.)

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

My heart belongs to you, but you expect me to share it with others.
My resources come from you, but you expect me to share them with others.
My life I dedicate to you, but you expect me to share it with others.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“For a few extra shekels, old woman, I’ll throw in a bottle of glucosamine for your aching joints.”

[He managed a living somehow, but He never said this.]

D. Blog: Falling Sky?

Farmers in India committing suicide or going on strike. I’d rather not think about the implications, but I know they are fearsome. Maybe the sky is falling and we’ll panic. Or maybe we’ll have vision and heart to act with wisdom and compassion.

What's Your Calling?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Who needs crucifixions? Waterboarding is more efficient.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Did you expect we would learn to accept war as a given?
I don’t think so.
Even if you did, I for one do not. Why?
Because you made us for better than that.
Cain is not my role model; Jesus is.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“There will be wars and rumors of wars. But you have better things to do.”

[The rest of the teaching perhaps? No. He didn’t speak English.]

D. Blog: Called to be a Minister

Future Minister

After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?"

"Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen."

Near the End, and the Beginning

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

War denies the power of love, thus rejects divine power.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I realize you know the end of this world approaches, in every instant. This world ends and a different one begins. I die and am yet reborn throughout my life. I am different from who I was a second ago. Not physical death and resurrection, but something more real and constant, more tangible in the way that even Jesus’ physical resurrection will never be as real as His resurrection in His followers. I have been reborn and reformed, ever more in your likeness, I hope.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I’ll bid the usual: seven hearts.”

[Always hopeful, I know, but He never said this. His hobby was fishing.]

D. Blog: Bumper Punditry

- Ignore your rights and they will go away.

- We don’t have democracy, we have an auction.

- The problems we face will not be solved by the minds that created them.

- Don’t believe anything until it has been officially denied.

Big Problem. Or Brobdingnagian?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Have you hugged a pacifist today?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We worship you above all else.
Self?
We worship you above all else.
Family?
We worship you above all else.
Religious and political figures?
We worship you above all else.
The religion that formed us?
We worship you above all else.
Nation?
We worship you above all else.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“First, we kill all the lawyers – then the accountants.”

[Shakespeare had inspiration, but He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: How Big is the Problem?

[from dictionary.com]

Brobdingnagian \brob-ding-NAG-ee-uhn\, adjective:Of extraordinary size; gigantic; enormous.

"The venture capital business has a size problem. A monstrous, staggering, stupefying one. Brobdingnagian even."-- Russ Mitchell, "Too Much Ventured Nothing Gained", Fortune, November 11, 2002

"Any savvy dealer . . . will try to talk you up to one of the latest behemoths, which have bloated to such Brobdingnagian dimensions as to have entered the realm of the absurd."-- Jack Hitt, "The Hidden Life of SUVs", Mother Jones, July/August 1999

Brobdingnagian is from Brobdingnag, a country of giants in Swift's Gulliver's Travels.

Can You Say Recession?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Consumed by fear and hatred, they unleash the dogs of war.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Creative minds sometimes imagine other worlds with other life forms. They do not improve upon what you have created. In fact, they fall far short of life on Earth and its complex interconnections. In addition, they will always remain imaginary, unlike your creation.

Other creative minds imagine ways our societies can provide more justice and peace, more compassionate abundance. We see this as part of your “will”, part of what your creation strives to become. You leave it for us in our freedom to realize.
Let it be so.

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Don’t call me. I’ll call you.”

[Many have been called, it seems. But I’m sure He didn’t say this.]

D. Blog: Recession, anyone?

Our local paper’s report this morning of overnight arrests includes that of a 34-year-old man from our area picked up for breaking and entering a home and stealing $80 worth of quarters. Quarters??? How desperate must this man be? Did he need coins for the downtown parking meters? The toll booths on the highway? And then I wonder: just how does such a heist get solved? Don’t detectives have other things to do? It does provide a distraction from larger issues, I suppose…