Keynes on Capitalism

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

The peace of God does not distinguish between religions.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

When we ask for bread, will you give us a stone?
When we ask for happiness, will you give us misery?
When we ask for love, will you give us indifference?
When we ask for peace, will you give us war?
When we ask for security, will you give us disaster?
When we ask for hope, will you give us despair?
When we ask for answers, will you give us questions?
Sometimes we are confused by your responses, but in Jesus you spoke more clearly than ever, if only we will listen.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“John, take care of my mother. You know my old man can’t provide for her.”

[Not exactly what He said from the cross. Or maybe it wasn’t recorded correctly…]

D. Blog: Bumper Reading to Provoke

- Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for the nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all. – John Maynard Keynes

- Doing my part to piss off the religious right

- Jesus is coming. Look busy!

- In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act

New Carpetbaggers

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

If there were no peace, we’d have to invent it.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I am rich in the ways that matter.
I walk on paths of blessing and joy.
I open my eyes and see gifts from you.
My mind cannot comprehend the bounty you bestow.
To be sure, your goodness and mercy follow me.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I’ll tell you, Benjamin & Jeremiah’s cookies ‘n cream is to die for.”

[He could have said “heavenly.” He said neither.]

D. Blog: Word of the Week: Carpetbagger

I will forgo my normal pattern here. My own definition and etymology for a word.

Carpetbagger: word applied to financial failures who bilked taxpayers out of billions of dollars in 2008 bonuses for destabilizing the world economy.

And with it,

Carpetbagger Tax: never-before-heard-of measure proposed in Congress to recoup bonus money paid for destabilizing the world economy, a tax of 100% on said bonus income.

Lamentation Booths?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

“I shall die, but that is all I shall do for Death.” – from Conscientious Objector, by Edna St. Vincent Millay

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Nobody knows the trouble you’ve seen.
Nobody knows the pleasure you take from creation.
Nobody know the pain you experience through and with us.
Nobody knows the hopes you have for humanity.
Nobody knows the breadth of your involvement in our lives.
But that’s okay. We’re only human.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“The cross-over dribble is my favorite move in basketball.”

[We get it, but He never said it.]

D. Blog: Confession or Lamentation?

I feel little need to confess or repent at this point in my life, but I feel great need to lament. I do so not for my personal situation, which is now rather comfortable, but for the fact that I benefit from being part of systems that diminish or destroy the lives of too many people and too much of Earth's ecosystem.

I can say “don’t weep for me,” not because I think I’ll survive any troubles that come to me, but because any tears shed should fall for those who are victimized by the political, economic and religious systems that dominate this world.

I imagine that a confession booth can’t do much with this perspective, so perhaps we should institute lamentation booths…

What Can Gray Do for You?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

For Palestinians, peace and freedom.
For Israelis, peace and security.
For all, desire for peace that trumps hatred and wish for revenge.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

I thought: “You’ve outdone yourself with this winter morning.” But then I realized two things: (1) I don’t know enough to make such a statement, and (2) it’s probably an impossibility to outdo yourself, especially for you, sort of like making something you can’t lift.

Whatever, the morning looks gorgeous. That, I’d guess, is much easier than getting us humans to get along with each other. Still, we hope and pray for your dominion in human affairs as in the affairs of sun and Earth.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I’m afraid we have to stop seeing each other, Ms. Magdalene. People are beginning to talk.”

[The Nazareth Insider would have fed the rumor mills, but He never said it.]

D. Blog: Gray

A gray morning reminds me how uplifting a bright one can be. A black and white photograph reminds me how great and natural the color ones look. An illness reminds me how important health is for our functioning and happiness. A spell of minor depression reminds me how a positive spirit enhances our existence. A death reminds me how amazing a gift it is to live on Earth.

Gray does not cloud my spirit. It gives helpful contrast to life’s wonder and beauty.

Agreement with Death

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Please, sir, I'd like some more. More peace, please…

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We enjoy pomp and circumstance and ceremonial rites. They allow us to mark the significance of special events. A new president who breaks the mold gives ample reason for widespread celebration.

Nevertheless, I wonder whether, in the “grand scheme of things” (on your list of significant happenings), the emergence of a crocus rates higher…
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I think I missed my calling.”

[Another last word from the cross that He didn’t say.]

D. Blog: A Haiku

Death and I have an agreement:
It will take me,
And I won’t fear it.

Does God Require Our Praise?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

A man of violence dies, and there is renewed hope for peace.
A man of war changes his spots, and there is hope for peace.
A rebel city falls to overwhelming military force, and for some there is hope for peace.
How eternal -- this hope for peace!
How unlikely that we can achieve this hope after resort to violence!
First abandon killing, then peace has a realistic chance.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

From the beginning, you had us in mind. Now we have you in mind.
From the beginning, you had great hopes for us. Now our hope rests in you.
From the beginning, you had faith in us. Now we have faith in you.
From the beginning, you have loved us. Now we desire to love you with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Back away from the chips, Pete.”

[At the last supper? Not as it was recorded, so He never said that.]

D. Blog: Praise God?

So, tell me: does God need or want our praise? Just wondering if divinity appreciates or enjoys affirmation coming from us.

I know we humans thrive when we receive praise and appreciation and thanks. But what can they possibly mean to God? What can such expressions from mere mortals, who have only minimal perception of God, mean to God?

I think it’s far more important for us to give thanks and praise than it is for God to receive them. Our humility, our acknowledgement of our place in the universe and in relationship to divinity, matters more than God receiving our recognition and affirmation.

The Jesus Tour

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

All good things come to those who wait. I’m awaiting the arrival of peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

It is much easier to hear you in quiet places, away from distractions, away from the countless minor idols that hunger for a piece of our attention and praise. Away from that, we hear your voice, charming and clear, calling our names.

It is easier to find you in places where we can focus on beauty and wisdom and hope-filled stories. We find you where we can escape the fears and fads of the moment and discover your holiness – a glorious gem before which we bow in wonder.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Okay, people. Form a line and for one denarius, I’ll give each of you an autographed copy of the prayer I wrote.”

[I have wondered how He earned a living while on tour, but this was not the way.]

D. Blog: Heaven - Just Ducky

Three men die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get the gate, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible to avoid stepping on a duck, and although they try their best to miss them, the first guy accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman the man has ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"

The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same explanation as for the first guy.

The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen: a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The guy remarks to the woman, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

She says, "I don't know about you, but I accidentally stepped on a duck!"

Here's Your Sign

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Some say that peace came gift-wrapped in the person of Jesus. You can’t discard one without discarding the other.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Another dawn brings the promise the new.
I look forward to the possibilities that will appear for me this day.
I anticipate the planned activities before me, and I live with openness to the unexpected that will come my way.
I can hardly wait for those striking, unusual, extraordinary occurrences that will make this day special.
The promise of the new is an invitation to know the joy of living in you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“They say it’s paradise on Earth. So, next time I’ll appear in Hawaii.”

[Much better location for a “Holy Land,” but He never said this.]

D. Blog: You Probably Need a New Psychic if…

-Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!"

-He insists that your astrological sign is "the Armadillo."

-She has this sign in the window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes'"

-Psychics Magazine rates him just below fortune cookies, just above your mom.

-She shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a blizzard.

Sports Mania

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Every missile represents condensed hatred.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You created a good world. We mess it up, but it remains a good place for us to dwell.
You created humans good. We mess up and get messed up, but there amazing numbers of good people in the world.
May we live with the awareness that you made us to be that way.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“There are enough of us for a polo match. To your camels, everybody!”

[Yeah, right. Before He entered the ministry, He was not a sports figure.]

D. Blog: Wierd Word of the Week-- Hooliganism

[With the super bowl almost upon us, this article adapted from Wikipedia might prove instructive…]

Hooliganism refers to unruly and destructive behavior. Such behavior is commonly associated with sports fans, particularly supporters of professional football (soccer) and university sports. In some countries, the hooligan elements of a group of supporters are known as Category C. The term can also apply to general rowdy behavior and vandalism, often under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

There are several theories about the origin of the word hooliganism. The Oxford English Dictionary states that word possibly originates from the surname of a fictional rowdy Irish family in a music hall song of the 1890s. Clarence Rooks, in his 1899 book, Hooligan Nights, claimed that the word came from Patrick Hoolihan (or Hooligan), an Irish bouncer and thief who lived in London. Another writer, Earnest Weekley, wrote in his 1912 book Romance of Words, "The original hooligans were a spirited Irish family of that name whose proceedings enlivened the drab monotony of life in Southwark about fourteen years ago". There have also been references made to a 19th century rural Irish family with the surname Houlihan who were known for their wild lifestyle. Another theory is that the term came from a street gang in Islington named Hooley. Yet another theory is that the term is based on an Irish word, houlie, which means a wild, spirited party.

The term hooligan has been used since at least the late 1890s - when it was first used to describe the behavior of street gangs in London - at approximately the same time as Manchester's street gangs, known as the “Scuttlers” were gaining notoriety. The first use of the term is unknown, but the word first appeared in print in London police-court reports in summer 1898. The word was immediately popularized by the press. The London-based newspaper, Daily Graphic wrote in an August 22, 1898 article: "The avalanche of brutality which, under the name of ‘Hooliganism’ ... has cast such a dire slur on the social records of South London".
Arthur Conan Doyle wrote in his 1904 novel The Adventure of the Six Napoleons, , "It seemed to be one of those senseless acts of Hooliganism which occur from time to time, and it was reported to the constable on the beat as such". H.G. Wells wrote in his 1909 semi-autobiographical novel Tono-Bungay, "Three energetic young men of the hooligan type, in neck-wraps and caps, were packing wooden cases with papered-up bottles, amidst much straw and confusion."

Later, as the meaning of the word shifted slightly, none of the possible alternatives had precisely the same undertones of a person, usually young, who is a member of an informal group and commits acts of vandalism or criminal damage, starts fights, and who causes disturbances but is not a thief. The word was internationalized in the 20th century in the Soviet Union as khuligan, which referred to scofflaws or political dissenters.

The words hooliganism and ooligan began to be associated with violence in sports, in particular from the 1960s in the UK with football hooliganism, although one of the earliest known instances of crowd violence at a sporting event involved two chariot racing factions, the Blues and the Greens in the Nika riots, which lasted around a week in Constantinople in 532 with nearly half the city being burned or destroyed and tens of thousands of people killed.

[I was relieved to learn that it didn’t originate in the U.S.]

Questioning "Holy Land"

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

The only time I march is in peace parades.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

In my hour of temptation, you rescued me.
In my night of agony, you held me close.
In my moment of glory, you celebrated with me.
In my morning of despair, you kept me from falling.
In my day of victory, you handed me the medal.
In my afternoon of delight, you laughed at my play.
You never leave me.
You hold me up, above a raging sea.
I rest secure in you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.”

[Definitely not one of His sayings.]

D. Blog: Holy Land?

Israelites and Palestinians. Is there a sorrier conflict in all of human history? Neighbors fighting for centuries over a piece of Earth that many call “holy”. Crusades and mass killings seem to make it more like the site of tragic murders where none would knowingly choose to live.

A killing by one neighbor is used by the other neighbor to justify killing many more. One claims to seek security, while the other claims to seek justice and freedom. The radical faction in one family wants to wipe out the other family, and radicals in that family want to take over the neighbor’s land. Holy?

Despite all the claims to divine promise and protection, the only promise and protection that can result from these behaviors is a mark like that worn by Cain…

Enabling as Negative?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Suppose the peace tsunami washes away all war…

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

What if we hunger and thirst for justice and peace?
Is that the same as hungering for righteousness?
If it isn’t, what’s the point of righteousness?
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Let me get this straight, Bartholomew: they’re saying there’s something wrong with me if I’m a do-gooder?”

[Yeah. They call it enabling, I think. But He never said this.]

D. Blog: A New Day

An African-American President… What would the founders think? I doubt if it was even near their radar. Talk about an American Revolution!

For historical significance, this one might eclipse the one they led. I hope it does.

Inauguration of a Believer

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Risk is a game. I played it a few times. Unlike war, which is a sort of “Russian” roulette.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Can it get any better than this?
Yes, of course.
Will it?
You only know.
But on the whole, it hardly matters.
My first breath of air was a miracle.
Every moment since then qualifies as a gift.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Savior? I don’t know. That’s a lot of responsibility.”

[We’ve affirmed Him for the position, but He never said this.]

D. Blog: An Inaugural Haiku

Pleasant surprises fill my days,
To such an extent
That I trust life.

[Hope. Change we can believe in.]

Cheering for God?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace is the mother of life.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One, Goddess of Love,

Life without you is unimaginable.
Apart from you, Earth has no life.
When the warrior god came, noble death supplanted zest for life.
You surely wept, and my soul suffers.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Don’t cry for me, Jerusalem.”

[One of the eight last words that He never said from the cross.]

D. Blog: “Our God is Awesome!”

That’s the statement blaring from a nearby church’s sign. Like God needs their affirmation. It reminds me of high school days, when we cheered “our team is red hot!” Or, how about that childish “my Dad can beat your Dad any day of the week (especially on Sunday?)”

I guess this congregation has feelings of inferiority, as if they claim God as a mascot to bolster their spirits -- or perhaps they think God's spirits need bolstering from a cheering squad. Maybe they should consider the story of Goliath from the perspective of the Philistines. I think “two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate?” is a better cheer leader declaration when it comes to Absolute Mysterious.

Who Needs Cleaning Lessons?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

In peace I breathe.
In peace I move.
In peace I live.
In peace I love.
In peace I have my being.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

The ground where I stand is holy, for you meet me here – in a drugstore.
Yesterday you met me on other holy ground, in a hospital, in a restaurant, in department stores, on the highway. You know, I even thought I saw you go into a bar.
Holy ground, for all of it has been touched by you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“My heart belongs to Daddy.”

[Could have, I suppose, but He didn’t say it.]

D. Blog: Cleaning

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging clothes outside.

”That laundry is not very clean,” she says. “She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”

Her husband looks on, but remains silent.

Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same comments.

About one month later, the woman is surprised to see nice clean clothes on the line and says to her husband: ”Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her?”

The husband says, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.'

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

Jewish Gamblers??

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I saw a butterfly slide down a rainbow. At the end it found treasure – lasting peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

The universe speeds around you.
You go at your own pace.
Life whirls around you at a dizzying rate.
You do not get caught in its turbulence.
Events in our world raise our anxiety level to near panic.
You remain at peace with yourself and this world.
We come to you seeking moments of reflection and hope.
You offer a vision of what’s possible in you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“How does this dreidel thing work anyway?”

[He never said it. Trust me (see below).]

D. Blog: The Rest of the Dreidel Story

The true source of the dreidel game is probably European.

In Europe, a gambling game with a spinning top has been played for centuries by various people in various languages. In England and Ireland, the game of totum or teetotum, first mentioned in approximately 1500, was especially popular at Christmastime.

The Germans also liked to play a gambling game with a spinning top. It is believed that the Jewish game of dreidel is a Judaicized version of the German gambling game. The Yiddish word dreidel derived from the German word drehen, which means "to spin."

The letters on the faces of the gambling toy, which were mnemonic for the rules of the game, varied in each nation. The letters on the English spinning top were: T for Take, H for Half, P for Put, N for None. In the German game, the letters were: N for Nichts (nothing), G for Ganz (all), H for Halb (half), S for Stell (put). The Hebrew letters on the dreidel seem to have come directly from the German gambling toy: Nun for Nichts (nothing), Gimel for Ganz (all), Hay for Halb (half), Shin for Stell (put).

In an effort to link the game to the celebration of Hanukkah, the Hebrew letters nun, gimel, hay and shin were said to stand for the phrase Nes Gadol Haya Sham, which means "a great miracle happened there."

[Thanks to the judaism.about.com website.]

Jesus as Televangelist?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Raised among ravenous wolves, I became a shepherd.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

So many joys, so little time.
So much beauty, so little time.
So much laughter, so little time.
So much love, so little time.
So many wonders, so little time.
So much Mystery, with time to spare.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“So what if the temple is a place to rip off poor pilgrims?”

[Of course He never said it, but a lot of televangelism accepts the notion.]

D. Blog: Shenanigan

[Thanks to Michael Quinlon and his World Wide Words website.]

Trickery, underhand action, intrigue, skulduggery.

You’ll most commonly encounter this word in the plural. It seems to have originated in California at about the time of the Gold Rush, though it was first recorded in print only in 1855. In the years since, it has been spelt in about a dozen different ways, though recent dictionaries have settled on the version above.

Where it comes from is still a matter of substantial dispute; the first five dictionaries I consulted gave four different origins (Oxford Dictionaries — as so often — opting for the ultra-cautious “origin unknown”). The word looks Irish, and there was no shortage of Irishmen in the California diggings, so it’s plausible to suggest the Irish word sionnachuighm as the source, meaning ‘I play tricks’, which is pronounced roughly as ‘shinnuckeem’. Others argue it comes from an East Anglian dialect word nannicking for playing the fool. Yet others guess at a link with the Spanish word chanada for a trick or deceit, which is another half-way plausible source, considering California’s history. Yet another theory was put forward in 1948 in American Speech for an origin in German schinnagel for a nail that holds the rim to the wheel, which produced the German slang terms schinageln, to work, and Schenigelei, a trick. As the man behind the market stall said, you pays your money and you takes your choice ...

[There are more than enough to go around…]

Busted in Asheville!

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Heaven’s peace is enough. Peace on Earth would make it even better.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Open my eyes to see your wonders.
Open my eyes to see your children in my enemies.
Open my eyes to see your glory.
Open my eyes to see your promises.
Open my eyes to see your peace.
Open my eyes to see your love.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“What I like about this razor is the triple blade cutting action.”

[I wonder about shaving in His time, but He never said this – even with the trinity reference.]

D. Blog: Arrest Blotter Questions

Asheville City police Wednesday charged an Asheville man with felony marijuana possession. Jamell Brian Campbell, 21, charged with possession with intent to sell and deliver 3.5 grams of marijuana and selling marijuana, according to arrest warrants. He also was arrested for failure to appear on a simple marijuana possession charge. He was released under written promises to appear in court.

Other Buncombe County arrests, charges:
• Theresa Correll Revis, 37, charged with motor vehicle rental fraud. She was released under a written promise to appear in court.
• Andre Phillip Flumory, 32, charged with possession of .3 grams of cocaine. He was released under a written promise to appear in court.
• Jeremy Jermaine Wise, 18, Asheville, charged with possession of 1.3 grams of cocaine and less than 1/2 ounce marijuana. His bond was set at $1,000.

[As is often the case when I read these reports, I have questions and would like to know the rest of the story. Where is the consistency? What did young Jeremy do that requires him to post bond, when the others did not? If Jamell didn’t appear for trial after a prior drug charge, why was he released after promising to appear this time?]

More

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Nuclear war has no future.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

My life goes well, but feels too busy, too many things I want to do and enjoy doing. Hard to complain about that, but I do see that time focused on you provides a helpful respite and perspective, a means of slowing down and then being able to taste the apple and smell the cinnamon (roses being out of season). So, thanks for meeting me here, taking some time from your even busier schedule. It means a lot.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Thanks guys, for indulging me in my foot fetish.”

[I mean, really! But He didn’t say that.]

D. Blog: More

Marcus Borg speaks of spirituality as a recognition of the more, more than what we perceive with our senses, even our extended senses through science and technology. My personal sense of more could become an epitaph:

More than I would have known to hope for when I was young.
More learning, more experience, more friendship, more love.
More beauty, more adventure, more travel, more risk and challenge.
More accomplishment, more convenience and comfort, more scenic wonder.
More confidence in the Absolute Mystery and in myself, more faith, more personal peace.
A good life, simple in many ways, rich in so many more.
More than I could have hoped when I was young.

Legacy Making

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Prophets and poets are rarely at peace with their violent “cultures”.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

The good news is that we are your children.
The good news is that you love us.
The good news is that you forgive us.
The good news is that you are with us.
The good news is that you are for us.
The good news is that you do not abandon us.
The good news is that nothing can separate us from you.
The good news is that you are our destiny.
The bad news? It does not matter.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Just give me the bottom line, Judas. What’s left in the endowment fund?”

[He talked a lot about economics, but He never like this.]

D. Blog: Legacy

“Uniter”
“Compassionate Conservative”
“Fiscal Restraint in Government”
“Weapons of Mass Destruction”
“Decider Guy”
“No Child Left Behind”
“Restore Dignity to the Office”
“Mission Accomplished”

[Slogans, like clothes, don’t make the man.]

Just Wondering...

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I don’t believe the angels had this sort of peace in mind.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We make idols of words and word images. Then we abuse and kill those who bow to other word idols or who will not bow to ours.

Our idols become more important than loving you and loving our neighbors. We think we are justified in this.

Some politician says “country first” and few dare to disagree. I say “You first!”
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“When baseball season starts, I always cheer for the Angels.”

[He had the ultimate home run, but He knew nothing about baseball.]

D. Blog: Just Wondering...

- Should we consider Jesus’ undertaker a failure?

- What happened to Jesus’ death certificate after the resurrection? (The family of our friend Warren, who died last year, told us nobody knows where his death certificate is, either. A good man and faithful Christian, perhaps he was resurrected, too??)

- If authorities removed the stone, maybe they cremated the certificate with the body?

- What happened to the tomb? Since it was empty, did Joseph of Aramathea’s body occupy it later? Surely they would not leave it unoccupied for centuries so it could be visited by countless misguided pilgrims…

- Where have all the flowers gone…?

Breaking Peace

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

When the peace breaks, we all fall down…

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

We come to your presence in humility, for there is no room here for pride.
We come to your presence in hope, for you have blessed our lives in countless ways in the past.
We come to your presence in expectation, for you are faithful and ready to sustain and transform our lives.
We come to your presence with joy, for in you we know forgiveness and love that reach into eternity.
We come to your presence for worship.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“My first reading is a little something I call ‘The Beatitudes.’ I hope you like it.”

[No, He didn’t do book signings, not even the red letter editions.]

D. Blog: Getting God’s Attention

Five-year-old Amelia said grace at the family dinner one night: “Dear God, thank you for these pancakes. Amen.”

When she concluded, there was an awkward silence until her mother asked: “Why did you give thanks for pancakes when we’re having chicken?”

She smiled and said, “I thought I’d see if God’s paying attention to me tonight. I might ask for a puppy again later.”

[I suppose God might get tired of the usual “grace” before meals?]

A Partridge?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Violence cannot build anything; those who use violence destroy even what they value.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

It takes a cosmos even to begin to display your greatness.
It takes an embrace to reveal your love.
It takes a fresh start to convey your forgiveness.
It takes a death to open the mystery of eternal life.
It takes a willing heart to recognize your presence.
You are here.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me a partridge in a pear tree.”

[Frankly, He probably preferred the gold from the magi. But He never said either thing.]

D. Blog: Somethings to Consider

- Money can't buy happiness – but it's more comfortable to cry in a new Mercedes than in a used Fiat.

- After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you’re probably dead.

- We cannot defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home. – Edward R. Murrow

- Come the rapture, I’d like your car – if it’s available.

What's In Your Kaboodle?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Forty-seven international journalists can’t be wrong when they report: “98.5% of the people of the world want peace – now!”

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You wait for our return.
You wait for our growth.
You wait for our learning.
You wait for our trust.
Here we are, ready or not.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Take this job and shove it.”

[No, that’s not what He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane before his arrest.]

D. Blog: Kit and Caboodle?

[Thanks to the article in Wikipedia for explaining this strange term.]

Kit and caboodle is a phrase that evolved over time. Most recently from the earlier phrase "kit and boodle".

Boodle (or Buddle) is an old word, and probably evolved from the Dutch "boedel" meaning a crowd or bunch. "The whole boodle" was heard as long ago as the early 19th century.

Kit is also a time honored word with many meanings, one of which is a collection of tools or possessions that a person might carry with them. "The whole kit" was used by 1785.

Caboodle is essentially a nonsense word, and is perhaps a contraction or rhyme of "kit and boodle".

[In my opinion, a nonsense word begins with a K instead of a C, as in katzenjammer.]

Respect Your Mother

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Asked about his medals from The War, the man in the Old Soldiers Home said, “I was a sucker.”

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Who keeps asking for war?
Who keeps asking for destruction?
Who keeps teaching that you would call for the end of human life on Earth?

I don’t know whether I can forgive them, for they violate the two greatest commandments with arrogant and stupid impunity. For now, I have to leave their forgiveness to you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I will survive.”

[Another thing He did not say from the cross.]

D. Blog: Noticing Earth

Earth is a multi-trillion (or more) faceted jewel. Its variations of light and color, temperature, height and weight, plant, vegetable and mineral life astound me. And don’t forget the supporting systems of soil and water, air, clouds, wind and sun, days to be active and nights to rest. How Amazing!

Yet we are so self-centered, we seldom notice any of that. And when we do, we see such a tiny portion and think that is the whole of it, that we comprehend it. Then, when we encounter something that does not fit within our self-centered notions of reality, we label it (or them) as “alien” or “evil” or “danger.”

Earth is a God-send for us to inhabit in the midst of its incredible diversity.

[Incidentally, "Earth" names a living entity, "the earth" is dirt, "the Earth" depicts an object.]

A Place in the Cycle

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Our souls find no rest until they rest in peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

You give us countless moments to live. Too often we simply endure them or let them pass without living in them. We allow them to whiz by us without notice because we live in distraction or impatience and cannot experience their fullness, the fullness of your presence in them. Help us live in the moments you give us.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I travel a lot, so I need to know what kind of mileage I’ll get with this donkey.”

[Mileage? I don’t think so.]

D. Blog: Circle of Life

The circle of life continues. Year to year as Earth orbits the sun. Generation to generation as we age and see the next generation mature and a following one take its first steps and discovers the miracle of language. And season to season, as plants are dormant and fields lie fallow before springing to new life, vigor, decline and return to rest. Said another way, life to decay to renewal to rebirth.

I think that Jesus’ teaching about being meek relates to these cycles, with meekness being the recognition and acceptance of our participation in the cycle of life. It is a sort of arrogance to think we can break out of this circle, a sort of tower (or wall) -building attempt to stop the circle. Some things are inevitable.

An Economic Haiku?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace requires letting go of self-righteous revenge.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Empty us of pride and deceit.
Empty us of lust and greed.
Empty us of hatred and jealousy.
Empty us of selfishness and shame.
Empty us of guilt and fear.
Fill us with hope and praise.
Fill us with love and encouragement.
Fill us with truth and beauty.
Fill us with courage and nobility.
Fill us with your Holy Spirit.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Elvis is King!”

[He might have liked “Love me Tender, Love me True” and “I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You,” but He never said this.]

D. Blog: Timely Economic Haiku

I’m off to see the wizard,
The wonderful wizard of odds,
Madoff

Change -- New Year's Day?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

It looks as if we’re taking the red-eye flight to peace.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Of happy days, I’ve had thousands.
Of inspiring moments, I’ve had hundreds.
Of growing years, I’ve seen many.
Of pleasant hours, I’ve had an abundance.
Of painful times, I’ve had enough to keep me humble.
Of miraculous seconds, I can’t begin to calculate.
Thank you.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“John, you need to get that streaking impulse under control.”

[Somebody needed to say it, but there’s no record that He ever did.]

D. Blog: Speaking of New Year’s Day

We are so bound to Earth as our mother that we overlook the myriad ways she influences and supports us. New Year’s Day, for instance. We mark such a day, but give hardly a thought to its connection with Earth’s movement around our sun. But what sense does our Julian calendar make in this regard? Nothing sacred about it. Both Christmas Day and New Year’s seem quite arbitrary and disconnected to actuality. No one knows when Jesus was born, and the day following winter solstice seems much more logical as a choice to celebrate the beginning of a new year. Spock would find it all quite bewildering.

Prayer for Peas

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

No nukes can protect us.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Your fame precedes you, often to our detriment and to the detriment of a real relationship with you. The images presented in the portraits of you are typically exaggerations that prevent us from recognizing your reality. So, when troubles come and people find the portraits don’t help them, then they declare that you are a fake. But if they have never met you, only seen images of you, how can they know?
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Explain it to me again, Matthew: how can I reduce my tax liability this year?”

[He didn’t have much trouble with taxing questions, so He never said this]

D. Blog: A Peas Prayer

Two little girls had been taught to say their blessing before eating their meal. One night as their mother was busy scurrying around the kitchen, she told them to stay their blessings without her. She took a moment to watch them as they both squeezed their eyes tightly shut over folded hands. When the 4-year-old finished, her 3-year-old sister continued praying for about two more minutes before she lifted her head, looked at her plate, and in an indignant voice said, “Hey! My peas are still here!”

Think Upon These Things!

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Peace came to me in a vision. “I am near,” she said.
How will I know? I thought.
“Have no fear,” she said.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

On the trip to your side, we can encounter obstacles of weather and terrain that send us on dangerous and costly detours. But now we are near Bethlehem, where we have heard we can find you. We carry with us some of our most prized treasures.

We thought we might keep them, but on the way to your side, we learned they get in our way. We want you to have them. You will know better what to do with them, and with us.

Here we are, safely arrived at last. You can make good use of us.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Number one on my bucket list is to learn to tango.”

[Pretty safe to declare: He never said this!]

D. Blog: Thoughts for the Day

- I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

- Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

- The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

- Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES who sport tattoos? (and RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!).

Bubbles Come, Bubbles Go

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

If those who long for peace stood hand in hand, how far around the Earth could they reach? And if supposed “enemies” were holding one another’s hands?

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

So quickly the wrapping paper disappears.
Gradually the decorations go into hiding and Santa returns to where he belongs.
Too soon, the visitors go away.
Eventually the memories fade.
What remains?
You.
A shining hope in an otherwise darkened world.
What remains?
You.
A precious gift revealing the presence of divinity to an otherwise blind humanity.
What remains?
You.
A glorious song of praise in an otherwise tone-deaf humanity.
What remains?
You.
A message of peace and good will for an otherwise violent and selfish humanity.
You remain, and we are blessed anew because of Christmas.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Fill out this application. I’ll let you know in a few days if you can be a disciple.”

[Maybe one question would have been about willingness to die for the cause, but He never said this.]

D. Blog: Bubble, Part 2

[From the article in Wikipedia, everything you need to know, according to economic theory and uncommon sense. I especially appreciate the fact that the bubble related to Beanie Babies has been recognized by this article.]

An economic bubble (sometimes referred to as a speculative bubble, a market bubble, a price bubble, a financial bubble, or a speculative mania) is “trade in high volumes at prices that are considerably at variance with intrinsic values”.

While some economists deny that bubbles occur, the cause of bubbles remains a challenge to those who are convinced that asset prices often deviate strongly from intrinsic values. While many explanations have been suggested, it has been recently shown that bubbles appear even without uncertainty, speculation, or bounded rationality. Most recently, it has been suggested that bubbles might ultimately be caused by processes of price coordination or emerging social norms. Because it is often difficult to observe intrinsic values in real-life markets, bubbles are often identified only in retrospect, when a sudden drop in prices appears. Such a drop is known as a crash or a bubble burst. Both the boom and the bust phases of the bubble are examples of a positive feedback mechanism, in contrast to the negative feedback mechanism that determines the equilibrium under normal market circumstances. Prices in an economic bubble can fluctuate erratically, and become impossible to predict from supply and demand alone.

Economic bubbles are generally considered to have a negative impact on the economy because they tend to cause misallocation of resources into non-optimal uses. In addition, the crash which usually follows an economic bubble can destroy a large amount of wealth and cause continuing economic malaise. A protracted period of low risk premiums can simply prolong the downturn in asset price deflation as was the case of the Great Depression in the 1930s for much of the world and the 1990s for Japan . Not only can the aftermath of a crash devastate the economy of a nation, but its effects can also reverberate beyond its borders.

Another important aspect of economic bubbles is their impact on spending habits. Market participants with overvalued assets tend to spend more because they "feel" richer (the wealth effect ). Many observers quote the housing market in the United Kingdom, Australia, Spain and parts of the United States in recent times, as an example of this effect. When the bubble inevitably bursts, those who hold on to these overvalued assets usually experience a feeling of poorness and tend to cut discretionary spending at the same time, hindering economic growth or, worse, exacerbating the economic slowdown. Therefore, it is imperative for the central bank to keep its eyes on asset price appreciation and take measures to curb high levels of speculative activity in financial assets. This is usually done by increasing the interest rate (that is, the cost of borrowing money).
It has been variously suggested that bubbles may be rational, intrinsic, and contagious. To date, there is no widely accepted theory to explain their occurrence. Recent computer-generated agency models suggest excessive leverage could be a key factor in causing financial bubbles.

Puzzlingly, bubbles occur even in highly predictable experimental markets, where uncertainty is eliminated and market participants should be able to calculate the intrinsic value of the assets simply by examining the expected stream of dividends. Nevertheless, bubbles have been observed repeatedly in experimental markets, even with participants such as business students, managers, and professional traders. Experimental bubbles have proven robust to a variety of conditions, including short-selling, margin buying, and insider trading.

While it is not clear what causes bubbles, there is evidence to suggest that they are not caused by bounded rationality or assumptions about the irrationality of others, as assumed by greater fool theory . It has also been shown that bubbles appear even when market participants are well-capable of pricing assets correctly. Further, it has been shown that bubbles appear even when speculation is not possible or when over-confidence is absent.
Popular among laymen but not fully confirmed by empirical research, greater fool theory portrays bubbles as driven by the behavior of a perennially optimistic market participants (the fools) who buy overvalued assets in anticipation of selling it to other rapacious speculators (the greater fools) at a much higher price. According to this unsupported explanation, the bubbles continue as long as the fools can find greater fools to pay up for the overvalued asset. The bubbles will end only when the greater fool becomes the greatest fool who pays the top price for the overvalued asset and can no longer find another buyer to pay for it at a higher price.

A related explanation is that economic bubbles are favored by the greed and irrational exuberance of overly bullish investors. The argument is that investors tend to extrapolate past extraordinary returns on investment of certain assets into the future, causing them to overbid those risky assets in order to attempt to continue to capture those same rates of return. Overbidding on certain assets will at some point result in uneconomic rates of return for investors; only then the asset price deflation will begin. When investors feel that they are no longer well compensated for holding those risky assets, they will start to demand higher rates of return on their investments.

Examples of economic bubbles include:
Tulip mania (top 1637)
The South Sea Company(1720)
Mississippi Company (1720)
Railway Mania (1840s)
Florida speculative building bubble (1926)
The Nifty Fifty American stocks of the late 1960s and early 1970s
Poseidon bubble (1970)
Sports cards and comic books in the 1980s and early 1990s
TY Beanie Babies (1996)
The Dot-com bubble (circa 1995–2001)
Japanes asset price bubble (1980s)
1997 Asian Financial Crisis (1997)

Real estate bubble:
British property bubble (as of 2006)
Irish property bubble (as of 2006)
United States housing bubble (as of 2007)
(The former Florida swampland real estate bubble)
Spanish property bubble (as of 2006)
Romanian property bubble (as of 2008)
Commodity bubble (as of 2008)

Exotic Livestock production in North America (i.e. llamas, white tail deer, elk, wild boar, and to a lesser extent bison)

Other goods which have produced bubbles include postage stamps and coin collecting.

New Day, New Year

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

A New Year’s Resolution: Peace Now!

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

Open our hearts to the message of peace this year.
Open our hearts to see neighbors instead of enemies.
Open our hearts to see faithful believers instead of lost souls.
Open our hearts in compassion for brothers and sisters everywhere.
Open our hearts to the message of peace.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Anybody know a cure for a hang-over?”

[Well… it has possibilities, but no, He never said it.]

D. Blog: One Day at a Time

Each day brings something like a new birth for us. Each day also brings the start of a new year. Perhaps we should celebrate every morning with a “Happy New Day!” If we are awake to them, each day begins with new hope, new possibility and new promise. If we are alert to them, each day ushers in a wealth of surprises and knowledge. If our eyes are open, each day lays joyous treasures and opportunities before us. Thus, I resolve to unwrap the gifts of each day in 2009.