What are Absolutes?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

Like love at the end of a boot, peace at the end of a gun is nonsense.

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One,

With you life is never normal. Following your round way and feeding your sheep do not fit into normal squares or cubicles. So let us walk confidently in your abnormal path in pursuit of your holy realm.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“I don’t believe death and taxes are such absolutes.”

[Hmm, but He never said it.]

D. Blog: Get Your Kazoo While They Last!

[Kudos to the Online Etymology Dictionary for this one.]

1884, Amer.Eng., probably altered from earlier bazoo "trumpet" (1877); probably ultimately onomatopoeic (cf. bazooka). In England, formerly called a Timmy Talker, in France, a mirliton.

"Kazoos, the great musical wonder, ... anyone can play it; imitates fowls, animals, bagpipes, etc." [1895 Montgomery Ward catalogue, p.245]

[Great musical wonder? Apparently advertising hype has been around for a long time.]