Did He Say That?

A. Unabashed Pacifist:

I think I hear a peace song!

B. Unabashed Christian:

Holy One, Forgiving One,

We Christians are much harsher on ourselves and one another than you will ever be. This is one thing Jesus taught that causes me to believe that he was a manifestation of you, for me even the fullest manifestation of who you are. I pity those who are so certain that you require judgment and condemnation for our misdeeds. No wonder they seem so full of guilt and worried by sin. I wonder if any of them could be convinced that they should worry more about how they slander your holy name with the way they portray your character. A bit of an irony in that, isn’t there? But then, I would characterize you, in part, as one who likes irony.
Amen

C. Un-quoting Jesus:

“Le Roi, c’est moi!”

[Just kidding. He never said that – in any language.]

D. Blog: Expanding Vocabulary

AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj.Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n.The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fect) v.To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

ELBONICS (el bon'iks) nThe actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater

FRUST (frust) nThe small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) nManhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

PEPPIER (pepp ee ay') n.The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) nThe affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup'kus) nThe moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.